★Perhaps the child had simply lost her mother? The only way to know was for SimTitle0 to ask what was wrong.
★Ignore Her
★Worthless children like this were everywhere. If one were to stop and help every single one in distress, nothing would ever get done!
★While creeping silently through the woods, SimTitle0 came upon a young buck drinking from a watering hole.
★SimTitle0 was stopping for a quick snack in a weathered clearing when a spooked doe came bounding through the woods directly at her!
★While searching for game, SimTitle0 nearly broke her leg as he stepped into a deep hole! It looked like a rabbit hole, though really anything could live down there.
★As SimTitle0 was moving through the forest looking for prey, she noticed a rustling in a nearby bush. There was bound to be a critter lurking within it!
★Help!
★The pitiful merchant was clearly in need of medical attention. A few stores from SimFirstName0's pack would do the trick. It wouldn't cost more than a few gold Simoles to replace.
★The merchant was clearly helpless and probably near death. Why waste good supplies on someone who was doomed, and more importantly, why pass up free goods that would probably just be salvaged by the next traveler anyway? SimFirstName0 could leave the merchant for dead and take anything of value!
★Opportunity!
★Buy the Keg
★This deal was too good to pass up. SimFirstName0 would buy the keg.
★Keep Looking
★This deal seemed way too good to be true. SimFirstName0 should look elsewhere.
★Pay Double!
★Buying another customer's keg didn't seem like the best way. Better to just keep looking.
★Keep Looking
★If the other customer's offer was, say, doubled, how could the merchant turn it down?
★Pay Full Price
★SimTitle0 needed the keg. Best to just pay full price and get it in hand.
★Haggle
★There was no greater insult than paying full price.
★As SimTitle0 looked down at the whimpering brigand, she felt nothing but disgust. This outlaw dared to steal goods from the honest men and women of TownName, but was reduced to blubbering and sobbing when captured?SimFirstName0 would have some choice questions for the brigand in a bit, but a corner of a piece of paper caught her eye at that moment, jutting out from the brigand's pocket.SimFirstName0 wanted that piece of paper...
★Ask Politely
★There was no reason to abandon civility. Especially when the brigand was being such a crybaby...
★Take It
★The brigand was in no place to argue or negotiate, so it would be easy enough to take the scrap of paper by force.
★The camp was bustling with activity as SimTitle0 slid into the nearest tent, narrowly avoiding detection.As she rifled through the bags in the tent, she suddenly came upon a stack of papers that looked to contain detailed instructions and plans for the upcoming invasion.SimFirstName0 quickly stuck one sheet in her pocket, but what to do with the others?
★Burn Them
★Burning the rest of the plans would disrupt the brigands and their planned invasion.
★Leave Them
★A true spy left no clue of her presence.
★As SimTitle0 explored the cave, she squeezed through a small passage and came face-to-face with the leader of the Army of the Forgotten.The cold, ghostly eyes of the spirit soldier stared back at SimFirstName0 as she pled for help against the invasion."If you want our help, you must prove yourself worthy. First, answer this simple question. I am the leader and commander of the Army of the Forgotten. What is my name?"
★Jacob Tillow
★It was the famed General who led the defense during the War of the Weeping Willow!
★Thomas Greth
★It was the savior from the famed 40-day Tredonian siege!
★SimTitle0 hurried through the nook and into the home of the Army of the Forgotten once more.As she handed over the Lordleaf, the expression on Jacob's face softened a bit."You have taken your first steps toward winning our trust," he boomed, "Next, please recite to me the only rule for a soldier in my army."
★No Retreat!
★The Forgotten knew no fear and did not back down in the face of even certain defeat.
★No Mercy!
★Every enemy feared the Forgotten, for they showed no mercy and took no prisoners.
★SimTitle0 hurried deep into the cave once more, handing the potion over. Jacob stared down at her with almost friendly eyes."I have one final question. We Forgotten suffer a curse that we all share. What is it?"
★Curse of Sleeplessness
★The Forgotten could never sleep, continually haunted by the memories of life.
★Curse of Perpetual Death
★The Forgotten were doomed to relive their deaths each day, as penance for their acts of violence in life.
★SimTitle0 was asking around the market for a keg of Luffenting Ale when a man in black approached."I heard you need some Luffenting ale. I've got a keg back there," he said, gesturing towards a dark alley, "and I'm looking to unload it quick. If you've got 35 gold, that keg's as good as yours."The man seemed a bit shady, but 35 gold for a keg of Luffenting Ale was a fantastic deal.
★As SimTitle0 made her way through the market, her eyes fell on a stall that had a keg standing in the back.When she approached it, however, the merchant working the stall immediately waved her off. The keg wasn't for sale, she explained. It had been promised to another customer who was picking it up later.SimTitle0 could make this merchant an offer she couldn't refuse, but was that the right thing to do?
★SimTitle0 had barely entered the market when she came across a stall selling a large pile of Luffenting Ale kegs.The merchant was doing a lot of business even though the price of the kegs seemed a bit high. SimFirstName0 could just pay the posted price and get out of there quickly or try to haggle for a more reasonable price.
★What was that on the ground? SimTitle0 looked down intently and realized that a secret note had been scratched onto the floor. Those brigands must not have expected anyone to look this intently for it.
★In between passes with the broom, a piece of paper flew up into SimTitle0's face.While it was unclear how the note got there, it was in SimFirstName0's possession now. And it would aid in figuring out exactly what those brigands were up to.
★ She woke up vomiting. She has a craving for cold mutton. I've seen her vitals and other symptoms. It's clear to me.
★Pregnant
★ Congratulations, you're pregnant!
★Fatally Ill
★ I'm sorry, but you're going to die.
★Lure Mouse
★It seemed pretty straightforward. Set the cheese on the floor. The mouse makes its move, and WHAM!!
★Grab Mouse
★There was no time for fancy traps! The plan was to shove her hand in the hole and hope for the best!
★Lure Mouse
★SimTitle0 could entice the mouse with some cheese and then ambush when it took the bait.
★Chase Mouse
★Surely the mouse was no match for SimTitle0's big, human brain and superior reflexes. She could be upon the little critter before it even knew what was happening!
★Set Trap
★SimTitle0 thought of a most devious plan: Attach the cheese to a hook, the hook to a string, thread the string through a pulley, tie the string to a rock, and then throw the rock at the mouse when it showed up for the cheese. BAM! Mouse trap!
★Mouse Whisper
★SimFirstName0 had always suspected she had a special connection with mice. With some gentle squeaking sounds and intense concentration, she would call to them, "Come, my little friends, feast upon this cheese."
★There were lots of uncharted islands in the seas, of course. SimFirstName0 had overheard wild rumors about them from the crew. Who knew what might be found?
★Attack!
★The trade routes and coastal villages would never be safe unless someone took decisive action against the scum of the sea! SimTitle0 would deep six the scrounging bastards!
★Sail Away!
★Now was not the time to play hero of the high seas. The current mission was far too important to risk for the vain pursuit of glory and fame. Those who escaped could live to fight another day!
★Grab Slimy Barnacles
★This other bunch is easily within reach, but is all slimy from the sea spray. Hopefully, they won't slide right out when being worn.
★Reach for Waxy Barnacles
★The waxy properties of that certain bunch over there may block out the sound better than anything else. They're really clinging to the side of the ship, though.
★SimTitle0 began scouring the sides of the ship. The perfectly sized plugs may offer some protection against Sir Buzz Killington's incessant ramblings.
★PL4M_EatingTent_DiveIn
★PL4M_EatingTent_DiveIn_Desc
★No Chewing
★Open wide like a snake and just let it slide down the throat. It's possible the taste may be somewhat avoided this way.
★PL4M_EatingTent_PalmFood
★PL4M_EatingTent_PalmFood_Desc
★Power Through
★A few gags are unavoidable - this food is absolutely rancid. What's key is to swallow down the gags ferociously as to avoid throwing up.
★The Pirate Cook beckoned to SimTitle0 upon entering the tent. SimFirstName0 sighed heavily and resigned herself to the disgusting task at hand. The Noxious Cheese-Stuffed Herring was waiting and the Pirate Cook watched with a pinched nose and a slight grin.
★PL4M_EatingTent02
★Dive In Head First
★Just go hog wild - the messier the better. With luck, half of the plate will spill to the floor from all the thrashing around!
★Palm Food
★Some super sly sleight of hand could well avoid having to eat the nasty dish at all!
★PL4M_EatingTentCheat01
★PL4M_EatingTentCheat02
★Steal from Pirate Ladies
★Everybody knows that ladies are far cleaner than men. The choice is pretty simple really.
★Steal from Pirate Men
★It may be dirtier (okay, it WILL be dirtier), but stealing from men is probably also safer. They may not get as angry by the nature of the theft like the ladies certainly will.
★SimTitle0 rushed onto the ship. Stealing pirate undergarments might very well prove to be a very dirty, embarrassing task! Which strategy feels the best?
★Run Away!
★The bear looked quite hungry. It was time to make like a tree, and get the heck out of there!
★Pacify Bear
★Twas better to bear the ills one had than fly to others one knew not of. If the animal had to be confronted, perhaps the universal language of music would show the bear that SimTitle0 was no foe.
★As SimTitle0 entered the forest the trees began to twist and change, and the path behind her was quickly overgrown with slithering tendrils of undergrowth. There was no way back.A gigantic bear unlike anything she had ever seen stood blocking the path ahead. It let out an ear-splitting roar and white flames erupted all over its body. With jet black eyes it met SimFirstName0's gaze and stared menacingly as if to say, "What now, puny human?"
★Fight the Bear!
★"Whoa, what's the deal with this ghostly bear covered in white flames? It's time to throw down!"
★Talk to Bear
★"I get the feeling that this spirit bear might be receptive to a civil conversation regarding his penchant for startling innocent people and ruining their enjoyment of the forest."
★Suddenly the ship was attacked by a monstrous whale!!
★As SimFirstName0 walked through the woods, she felt herself begin to relax. "Ah yes, this is just what I need. I've been so tense lately, it's been clouding my mind and scattering my thoughts."No sooner had the words left her mouth, when she heard a loud growling and she turned to find herself staring straight into the eyes of a hungry bear!
★Fight!
★This stinking mountain of sea flesh could not be allowed to sink such a mighty vessel. Even SimTitle0 would grab up a harpoon to fight the leviathan!
★Panic!
★A whale attack was no time for clear thought. Screaming and running about with wildly flailing arms was the only appropriate response.
★As she inspected the roots of trees for clues, SimTitle0 heard panicked shouts coming from somewhere in the woods. Suddenly, a young priest in tattered clothes came running desperately through the trees. By the sound of it, something was right at his heels.
★Hide!
★Whatever trouble the priest had found, it must have been dire. SimTitle0 was not entirely sure she wanted to invite that trouble onto herself. Besides, the priest looked like a pretty fast runner...
★Help him!
★The priest was unquestionably in trouble. It looked dangerous, but SimTitle0 had to help him somehow.
★Investigate the Noise
★The disciple was in the way. SimTitle0 needed to move in front and see to the commotion for herself!
★Watch and Wait
★Actually, it looked like the disciple was doing pretty good. SimTitle0 would stand back while the disciple investigated the splendor of nature.
★Instruct
★Soothe
★Proxy Candidate Orville's hands were trembling when SimTitle0 met with him on the Yacothian docks."I think they're on to me," he said. "I think they know I'm a peasant!""It'll be alright," said SimFirstName0. "Just listen here..."
★"You'll be fine, Orville. Just remember what I taught you: that the Proxy speaks for Jacob, who speaks for the Watcher, and no one may gainsay him."
★Instruct
★"Priests are sticklers for proper form, so get this straight, Orville. Your wine goblet stays in your right hand at all times, and your knife is used in your left. Use it to stab grapes or choice pieces of meat."
★Soothe
★Proxy Candidate Orville's hands were trembling when SimTitle0 met with him on the Yacothian docks."I just can't keep all the rites straight," he said. "Every time one of the electors asks me a question, I freeze.""It'll be alright," said SimFirstName0. "Just listen here..."
★"Don't worry, Orville. The electors will be charmed by your genuineness and salt-of-the-earth-type qualities. Just be yourself and you'll win them over."
★Attack!
★The boar was distracted eating truffles. Now was the time to attack!
★Flee!
★Perhaps this was a good time to escape from the monstrous beast while escape still seemed possible!
★Sapphire
★An improbably large sapphire sat atop the dragon's hoard. It could be SimTitle0's if she was brazen enough to steal it!
★Ruby
★If SimTitle0 was careful, she might be able to snatch the impressive ruby lying at the base of the dragon's stash.
★Basic Rate
★Premium Package
★"For the modest price of fifty Simoles, I can read the lines of your palm and provide priceless insight into your relationships."
★"For the small price of ten Simoles, I can study your fate line and estimate your time left on this earth."
★Leave it Be
★Blindly reaching into a hole was a really, really bad idea! SimFirstName0 decided to just keep walking and leave the mystery hole alone.
★Reach In
★Chances were there was a rabbit in there somewhere. If SimFirstName0 reached in, she might be able to grab one and pull it out.
★In which direction shall we sail towards?
★Go North
★"Let us travel North with the stars."
★Go East
★"The winds are our best guide, let's head East."
★What shall you do with the downtime between raids?
★Go Fishing
★"Fishing will provide some extra food for the voyage."
★Update charts
★"Charting the stars and currents will make me a better pirate."
★What maintenance will you attend to between raids?
★Scrub the deck
★"Good footing is important for battle, so I best make sure the deck is well scrubbed of slippery algae build up."
★Repair rigging
★"Repairing the rigging will help keep the boat sailing."
★You've encountered a rival pirate vessel and appear to have spotted them before they've seen you. How shall you attack?
★Flank 'em!
★"We should manuver around them for a better angle of attack."
★Charge!
★"We have the advantage! Charge!"
★Shall we target coastal areas, or the open sea?
★Coastal Areas
★"Coastal villages will give us the most opportunities to pillage."
★Open Seas
★"Isolated ships on the open sea will give us the biggest hauls."
★You've scored a minor victory and overwhelmed a nobleman's pleasurecraft. What do you do with the survivors?
★Release them
★"If we let them go, perhaps we'll be able to capture them again in the future."
★Drown them
★"No sense taking unecessary risks. We'd best just dispatch them all now."
★Luffenting Ale
★A frothy ale sounded delightful.
★Luffenting Wine
★An earthy brew of Luffenting Wine would hit the spot.
★The air in Luffenting was crisp as SimTitle0 walked into the famed Leaping Lamb Tavern.The bartender extended his hand, broke into a jovial smile, and regarded SimFirstName0 with surprise. "We don't get much royalty in here. But you royals need your drinks as much as the rest of us, eh? Today's special - all-you-can-drink Luffenting Ale or Wine. Choose one, and choose wisely!"
★The streets of Smortlee were bustling with activity as SimTitle0 made her way through the crowd.A man quickly passed by, shouting cheerfully, and put a flier into SimFirstName0's hands. A quick look down revealed that the flier was about two events simultaneously happening later in the day. There appeared to be both a grand tournament in the center square of Smortlee, as well as a grand feast in the local reception hall. SimTitle0 only had time to attend one of these. Which would it be?
★Feast!
★Above all else, when in doubt, go with the food.
★Tournament!
★Nothing satiated the need for a bit of excitement like a grand tournament.
★Whoa! SimTitle0 didn't quite expect to find such elegant attire. And so much of it! The Guildsman must not have had laundry done in weeks! This won't be fun. Where to start?
★RushToPledge_BrowseClothes02
★Out-Smarted
★The pirates were simply out-smarted. They aren't the brightest bunch, after all. A simple flanking move by the Guild caught them completely by surprise. Bye-bye Pirate Fleet.
★SimTitle0 rushed into the Village, eager to spread news of the pirate defeat. Which story sounds most believable?
★Hot Press Clothes
★Sitting on each article until it gets warm and then quickly stretching it taut over the floor will make every single wrinkle disappear. MAGIC!
★Start Spit Shining
★Hocking a little spittle onto the plate mail, boots, and assorted buckles and polishing will shine them a long way.
★Deface Clothes
★Standing over each article and leaving a small liquid 'deposit' will leave a special odor as a surprise.
★Out-Muscled
★Have you seen the size of those Consortium member's arms? The Guild must have a great gym! Those tree trunks just clobbered those Pirates into submission!
★Prank Clothes
★May as well have a little fun here. It would be hilarious to cut out a few well placed holes in some of the Guildman's shirts.
★Search the Bush
★It was likely just a small animal. If SimFirstName0 reached in, perhaps she could simply catch it in her hand.
★Throw Rocks
★Whatever was inside would be easier to catch once it was flushed out. SimFirstName0 could throw some rocks at the bush and skewer the creature on the run!
★Pouring her focus into the magical orb, a warming began to ignite within SimTitle0's mind, just as the heart of the crystal began to glow.The sensation was not unpleasant; instead, it seemed to crystallize her thoughts and hint at unlimited knowledge, just out of reach.
★Expand Focus
★Perhaps if SimTitle0 could broaden her awareness, she could open her mind to the flood of knowledge.
★Narrow Focus
★If SimTitle0 could only tighten her concentration, she might be able to pinpoint the entryway to ultimate knowledge!
★As SimTitle0 peered into the swirling depths of the crystal, she sensed a malevolent presence lurking in the ether. Suddenly a burst of pain stabbed at SimFirstName0's vulnerable consciousness.
★Counter Attack
★SimTitle0 would have to channel her mental energy to retaliate against the unseen aggressor.
★Mental Defense
★SimTitle0 would have to consolidate her mental energy to ward against the ethereal attack.
★Within the crystal orb, a cascade of strange images began to swirl chaotically. Straining to make sense of the apparitions, SimTitle0 discerned two glowing portals within the magical maelstrom, from which the strange visions seemed to be spilling.Which portal will SimTitle0 look into?
★As SimTitle0 walked through the crowded village square, a small child ran up holding out a black parrot with an injured wing."Please, I found this poor birdie, but I don't have the money to help her. You must take her and see that she gets the care she needs!"
★Take the Parrot
★This parrot won't live if I leave it with the beggar child. I will take the bird under my wing and see that it is nursed back to health.
★Refuse
★It's not worth the trouble. I know a doomed parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.
★A ship appeared in the distance. It was difficult to make out the markings, but the ship looked to be of Aarbyville design.
★Parley
★"We're pretty friendly with the Pirates of Aarbyville these days. Let's sail towards them and parley. "
★Avoid
★"Pirates are always a problem, even the friendly ones. Let's give them a wide berth."
★After a short break to repair a ripped sail, the anchor was raised. What was usually a one-man job became a trial as four sailors struggled to bring the anchor up out of the water. With SimTitle0's help they were able to haul it onto the deck, where they made an incredible discovery: the anchor had been so heavy because a large treasure chest was hooked onto it!The damaged chest opened easily, spilling gold and valuables across the deck of the ship. The entire crew was now surrounding SimTitle0 and her sudden bonanza.
★A ship appeared in the distance. It looked to be a merchant ship belonging to the fleet of those devious Tredonians.
★Attack!
★"The Tredonians are known swindlers. Rich swindlers. We should do the world a favor and liberate some of their wealth."
★Avoid
★"I've seen reports that a certain Tredonian Magnate has been out for blood lately. Perhaps we should give these Tredonians a wide berth."
★While sailing through a fog bank, the ship's keel was repeatedly jarred by dull thudding sounds. Looking over the side you saw the cause. The ship was sailing through the deritus of a wrecked Aarbyville ship.
★Search
★"Despite their reputation, the Aarbyville Pirates are a decent lot. It looks grim, but we should at least make an attempt to look for survivors."
★Leave
★"Nobody could have survived this. Let's note the wreck in our log and we'll report it to Aarbyville later for them to send a salvage mission."
★Upon inspecting the eggs, you decide...
★Great Taste
★These eggs taste delicious! They are perfect for throwing during the Eggs-travaganza.
★Less Filling
★These eggs don't sit heavy in the tummy. They are perfect for throwing during the Eggs-travaganza!
★SimFirstName0 snuck through the ship's decks and happened upon a locked chest. Next to the chest was a cask of mead, an empty glass and an inebriated crewman.
★Don't Steal
★SimTitle0 didn't have the option to cater to such desires. She was on orders and could not risk any untoward affairs.
★Steal
★Surely the crewman would not mind if SimFirstName0 were to lighten the chest's load a touch...
★Rogue currents had tugged the ship miles off course. In the distance you saw several ships converging on what appeared to be a small atol. When you got closer, you appraised the other approaching vessels. They weren't vessels at all... they were monsters! A massive Dire Whale, an enormous Man O'War, a ghastly spirit army, and even the mighty Kracken were converging. On the atol itself you spied Unicorns, Golems, Goblins, a maniacal Crab Bandit, and more. It's clear, this was to be the Ultimate Throwdown.
★Join the battle
★"For all these mystical creatures to convene in one place... the stakes must be incredible. I must join the battle!"
★Watch
★"Obviously this is going to be something epic. For whatever reason, we've been chosen to bear witness."
★In a bank of unnatural fog, SimTitle0's ship suddenly came across a derelict galley adrift on the waves. Overcome with curiosity, SimTitle0 joined the boarding party. But time was short; where would she look?
★Main Cabin
★The captain's cabin would provide some answers about this mysterious ship...
★Ship's Hold
★If anything was worth finding on the abandoned scow, it would be stored in the hold.
★The fog bank was huge. You had been sailing through it for hours, when suddenly the lookout began screaming!A derelict pirate ship aimlessly drifted into sight. Gazing upon the gastly forms floating around the derelict's deck, a grim realization came over you:You've stumbled upon a ghost ship.
★A ship suddenly appeared on the horizon and quickly maneuvered itself alongside SimTitle0's vessel. It was a Jacob's Sword patrol boat! Methodically, Jacob's Sword began the boarding process. It did not look like a friendly visit.
★Fight Them Off
★Jacob's Sword soldiers weren't so tough, were they? "Fight them off! Protect the ship!" SimTitle0 cried.
★Pay Them Off
★Jacobans loved a good donation, right? Maybe a generous stack of coins and access to the cargo hold would appease them?
★A Jacoban vessel suddenly appeared on the horizon and quickly made a beeline for the ship. The crew of the other ship hailed SimTitle0.Their mission, so they claimed, was one of evangelism, and for a minimal fee, they would board the ship and convert the crew to the Jacoban faith.
★Go Ahead
★Allowing the Jacobans to come aboard and convert those who wished to become Jacoban was probably harmless and the best way to appease them.
★No Thanks
★Paying a fee and being forced to become a Jacoban? It sounded like a raw deal.
★While sounding the depths near a dangerous reef, a pock-faced deck cadet yelled out, Mermaid! Low and behold, as the crew gathered around the forecastle, a strange and beautiful sea-creature with sparkling hair gazed directly at SimFirstName0 as if mesmerized.
★Harpoon it!
★One, there was no such thing as a mermaid, and two, whatever the creature was it looked delicious! All SimTitle0 and her crew wanted to do was spear it, skin it, cook it, and eat it before it got away. And the cooking part was optional.
★Talk to Her
★Was it really a mermaid, or just another one of the weird, grotesque sea creatures that The Watcher conjured to confuse and frighten sailors away from the sea? There was only one way to be sure.
★The crazy guy up in the crow's nest was screaming about some mysterious island on the horizon again. None appeared on the map. The gathered crew eagerly looked up to the quarter deck for guidance from SimTitle0.
★Stay On Course
★Rumors of mystical islands and buried treasure were just the rantings of sun-baked, grog-soaked sailors with too much time on their hands. This situation called for good, old-fashioned leadership. SimTitle0 would stay the course.
★Investigate!
★Seemingly out of nowhere, a dreaded pirate corsair galley appeared and quickly closed on SimTitle0's vessel. With drums pounding and oars tearing at the sea, the evil galley prepared to attack. The crew began to panic as SimFirstName0 stared, unable to make a decision.
★A ship appeared in the distance. The markings were consistent with a small Aarbyville scout clipper. Scurvy Pirates!
★Attack!
★"These Pirates are the scourge of the seas and they are in our waters! If we can catch them, perhaps we could levee a few fines."
★Avoid
★"I don't have time for this. We'll send word out for more patrols when we get back, but for now those blasted pirates are not our immediate concern."
★A ship appeared in the distance. It is not clear, but it looks to be a Tredonian trade ship.
★Greet
★"We should rendevous with them. The Tredonians are our friends and would probably be willing to share news and offer us a few duty-free bargains."
★Avoid
★"It would be nice to catch up with the Tredonians, but we don't have time. Let's just go on our way."
★Charging fearlessly into the enemy line, SimTitle0 was a whirling storm of death. Her battle cry led the forces of TownName forward and struck fear into the hearts the enemy.
★As SimTitle0 slept, nascent feelings of comfort and happiness began to solidify into a beautiful dream. In the distance soft music was carried on a fragrant spring breeze, and smiling faces cheered her approach. SimFirstName0 could see a shining golden road leading towards a breath-taking paradise. In the opposite direction the road faded into a thick mist, though SimFirstName0 could almost make out a dark and still bed chamber, barely visible through the fog.
★Control Dream
★The dream seemed to be offering paradise to SimTitle0. But was this not the product of her own mind? She could seize control of the dream, and take paradise!
★Embrace Joy
★It appeared that the dream had something to say. SimTitle0 would allow herself to be swept along by the cheering throng towards the vision of paradise. What would come, would come.
★An ominous creak roused SimTitle0 from her sleep. In the darkness of the bed chamber, a shadowy figure could be seen crouching at the far end of the room.
★Chase Intruder
★Attempt to chase the prowler away.
★Hide!
★Quickly take cover from the trespasser.
★Your dream started out with you in the tavern, having a beverage. You called out for some music to liven the evening. Oddly enough, two famous Bards appeared and started singing simultaneously. One, wordsmith Andy Island, sang a bawdy and comically ironic tale of crude lust. The other, crooner Bikhail Moltin, sang a raucous ballad of Pirate adventure. Both troubadours refused to quit. You'd have to choose the song.
★The night starts...
★"That Andy Island always makes me laugh, let's hear his tune."
★To the good part!
★"Bikhail Moltin sure can sing, and that adventure tale sounds exciting!"
★A restless sleep quickly devolved into a parade of monstrosities, horrific visions all slavering over the prone and helpless SimTitle0. No matter which way she turned the horrors pressed ever closer.
★Confront Horrors
★SimTitle0 saw little choice but to challenge the wicked phantasms head on.
★Run!
★Terror filled SimTitle0's heart! Her only chance to survive was to run! Run far away!!
★Sleep...
★Sleep?
★Sleep!!!
★Sleeping?
★Sleeping again!!!
★Mysterious shuffling sounds slowly began to stir SimTitle0 from her slumber. With sudden alarm, she realized that there was another presence in the room. Lying perfectly still, SimFirstName0 quickly weighed her options&
★Feign Sleep
★In time the presence would leave on its own, or at least give SimTitle0 a better opportunity to react to the intrusion.
★Take a Peek
★If SimTitle0 could carefully get a peek at the intruder without being detected, maybe she could decide the best course of action.
★A restless sleep quickly devolves into a parade of horrific visions of monstrosities, all slavering over the prone and helpless SimTitle0. No matter which way she turned the horrors pressed ever closer.How will SimFirstName0 deal with the nightmare?
★While ambling down the crowded streets, SimTitle0 saw a great throng of people ahead. Approaching to investigate, she saw a strange small man hawking potions, calling out to the streets:"Churdle's Amazing Potions! Limited supply! Feel the power of The Watcher in every step!"SimTitle0 pondered if getting a magical potion from a mysterious man named Churdle was a good idea...
★As SimTitle0 approached the center of town, she noticed a large crowd assembling. To SimTitle0's surprise, she found that the group of citizens was standing by idly watching as several townsfolk pelted an Elf girl with rock-hard potatoes."Get out of here," shouted the mob. "We don't want your kind here!"SimFirstName0's eyes met those of the tormented girl for a brief moment...
★Stop the Mob
★It wasn't right. Somebody had to stand up to this mob!
★Blend In
★SimFirstName0 truly didn't have time to get caught up in this right now. It would be best to blend into the crowd and slip away.
★Amidst the bustle of town, SimTitle0 suddenly heard a commotion ahead. Dashing to investigate, SimFirstName0 came upon quite a sight: a pair of brigands terrorizing a defenseless mother and tiny child. The fiends appeared to be trying to wrestle a bag out of the woman's hands!
★Help Mother
★This injustice would not stand! SimTitle0 sprang into action!
★Help Muggers
★SimTitle0 could help the bandits steal the bag! Who knew what was in it!? Maybe good stuff!!
★As SimTitle0 made her way through the crowded streets, she saw a seedy-looking man calling out to her. The little man gave his pet boar a pat on the head and flashed a toothless grin. He held up some seashells and a pearl. "Let's place a bet! 50 Golden Simoles says you can't find the pearl!"
★Place the Bet
★SimTitle0 laughed defiantly. She would accept the challenge of the Shell Game Man!
★Refuse the Bet
★The man looked sketchy. Very much so. Perhaps it was better to save the gold and avoid potential trickery...
★As you passed by a local watering hole, you heard what sounded like a very drunk crew of Aarbyville Pirates enjoying some shore leave. They appeared to be having a rather good time at the expense of a much bedraggled bar keep.
★Join the fun
★"I could go for a little merriment, and those pirates sure know how to party. I'm sure they'll welcome a friend of Aarbyville."
★Enable
★"Hmmm... the Pirates of Aarbyville are known for spreading their loot around when they get raucously drunk. Perhaps if I buy them a few rounds, I can score a few trinkets."
★As you meandered through the market, a disreputable Aarbyville Trader called you from behind his market stall. "Hey buddy, I know you're a friend of Aarbyville. Perhaps you'd be interested in a deal on the last of my stock before I close up. I've some assorted sundries remaining that I got for a... steal... How about 200 simoles for the lot? I guarantee you'll get more than your money's worth. What do you say?"
★Buy
★"This guy seems legit, even if his goods aren't. I'll take the gamble."
★Haggle
★"I'm not willing to spend that kind of money on unknown goods. Perhaps he'd consider showing me what he has first."
★While moving through the Village, SimTitle0 almost tripped over an old toothless beggar sitting on a pile of filthy rags. The beggar looked up meekly from his one good eye and extended his bony arm, a cracked wooden cup clenched in his claws. Alms for the poor, he groaned.
★Help Him
★Poor souls such as he required a little love and charity from strangers. One gold simole was likely nothing to SimTitle0, but it would be a fortune for the old beggar!
★Shove Him Aside
★Why did some people insist on clogging the main arteries of trade and commerce in the village? It was best not to give them anything or they would surely multiply like flies.
★As SimFirstName0 picked her way past the village market stalls, she stumbled upon a curious and suspicious cavalcade of travelling minstrels. A spritely clothed jester skipped forward and offered to sell SimTitle0 a tangled sprig of fragrant, refreshing mystery herbs.
★Walk Away.
★SimTitle0 wouldn't be fooled by the bright colors, hypnotic music, and laughter. These traveling con artists and thieves were after one thing: gold simoles. Every offer was surely a scam.
★Why Not?
★The band of entertainers seemed harmless enough, and they certainly knew how to have fun. Perhaps it wouldn't hurt to take a little nibble of the foreign herbs. What could happen?
★A bent-over old Yacothian woman beckoned SimTitle0 towards her decrepit tent. You look like you are in need of guidance, my child, she whispered in a gravelly voice. Your fortune for a fiver?
★NO
★It was common for old Yacothian yokels to prey on the weak-minded and superstitious. If they didn't receive encouragement or support, they would quickly move on and find some other village to prey upon.
★Sure, Why Not?
★What was five simoles for the chance to look into one's future? Maybe the old crones from Yacothia really did have a gift...
★While walking down the street, SimTitle0 heard some crying down an alley. Glancing that way, she saw a small and very dirty child crying by a gutter.
★Flustered with the crowded streets, SimTitle0 took a shortcut through a tough section of town. The narrow, crooked streets got darker and more treacherous. Suddenly, SimFirstName0 was cornered by a gang of hooded& hoods. Yer gold or yer blood! they hissed in unison.
★Run For It!
★It was clear that the club of herb-addled gutter scum had no ear for reason! They would kill simply for the sport of it, and were beyond redemption. The only option was to run!
★Lecture Them
★It was sad, really. The ruffians just needed of a little wise counsel. They were merely the product of a poor environment and a failing education system. Surely SimTitle0 could bring them around.
★Buy It!
★The poor little fellow was down on his luck and selling what must have been a treasured musical possession at a discount. The lute was in perfect condition and would be a steal. Technically it was illegal, but who was looking?
★SimFirstName0 rounded a corner in the busy village and almost ran over a young Halfling wearing a moth-eaten and uncharacteristically grubby coat. The hustling little hobbie hastily extracted a beautiful lute from behind his back. He drew near SimTitle0 and whispered, Like new, half price. What say you?
★No Way!
★Obviously, the pathetic, pint-sized pilferer had some horrible vice he needed to feed. The lute was probably stolen property, and purchasing stolen property was a CRIME.
★Picking your way through the marketplace, you are suddenly accosted by somebody who looks exactly like you, wearing the exact same outfit you have on. She thrusts a parcel into your hands and shouts, There's no time to explain! Take this and get out of here! She then took off down the street.
★Run!
★"If you can't trust yourself, who can you trust? I better get out of here!"
★Try to ignore it
★"Obviously foul magic is afoot, I want no part of this!"
★You've seen several folks with lovely parrots lately. It's time to get a new parrot for yourself! There are two new shoppes in town, perhaps you should visit one of them.
★Northern Shoppe
★"I've heard the shoppe on the northern edge of town has an eccentric owner with some interesting products, let's check there!"
★Southern Shoppe
★"Rumor has it that the shoppe on the southern edge of town is quite fancy looking. I want to go to there!"
★Your shopping trip was rudely interrupted by a gathering of people carrying signs, loudly chanting about low wages, poor working conditions, oppression, and other such rigamarole. Some of the new Tredonian merchants coming to town had obviously been making an impression.
★Negotiate
★"This protest is putting a damper on my market trip. Perhaps I can talk to the leaders and sort this out."
★Hire Scabs
★"I bet I can profit off of this. I'll hire a few vagrants to do the protesters' jobs at a fraction of the cost. Then I'll collect the difference from the merchants!"
★Deep in the woods, SimTitle0 trailed behind her guide, barely listening to the incessant droning on the wonders of the natural world. Suddenly, a rustling in the nearby brush broke the serenity of the forest, and drew the hikers' attention to the shadowy underbrush thick along the trail.The disciple froze mid-sentence, naively leaning down towards the rising noise.
★On the way back from the village, SimTitle0 noticed an odd man mumbling gibberish to himself, "Dinf tulame... dinf tulame..."Suddenly, the odd man jumped at her, grabbing and pulling at her clothes. SimTitle0 gave the man a hard shove which caused him to fall to the ground still mumbling, "Dinf tulame... dinf tulame..."SimFirstName0 hurried along, glancing back to see the odd man rolling around on the ground, speaking gibberish to himself.
★The crew was extremely unhappy with SimTitle0's decision. Before she knew it, she was surrounded by an angry mob wielding belaying pins and cutlasses.They seized her and unceremoniously tossed her overboard. By the time they fished her out of the water, the treasure was gone and SimFirstName0 was soaked to the bone.
★The crew was extremely unhappy with SimTitle0's decision. Before she knew it, she was surrounded by an angry mob wielding belaying pins and cutlasses. She drew her sword and shouted a challenge to battle the strongest sailor for the right to the treasure.After a furious exchange SimFirstName0 emerged victorious and the crew petulantly backed off, leaving her to the treasure.
★As SimTitle0 agreed to hand the treasure out to everyone aboard, a cheer erupted from the crew and she was hailed as a hero.After the treasure had been distributed, a deckhand approached SimFirstName0 and offered her a strange piece of twisted metal that he had found mixed in with his portion of the treasure.
★The First Mate looked at SimTitle0 grimly and at first said not a word. Upon much insistence and pestering, he vaguely answered, "He's in the trees. Or maybe the caves. Or amongst the townsfolk. You'll never find 'im."There would be no breaking this stalwart scallywag's silence. He would be loyal to the pirate cause to the end.
★The rowers had been threatened into silence, but SimTitle0's winning attitude won one of them over. "I think he be hiding among them rocks in da caves! I don't really know for certain."
★SimTitle0 journeyed far into cave. She searched high and low, but no trace could be found. Disheartened, she gave up and began the journey back. Nearly back at the opening, she stumbled upon the pirate leader who had been sitting there the whole time! SimTitle0 must have walked right by him and not noticed!After a quick conversation (and a guarantee of safety), the pirate agreed to head back to the throne room to talk. In the end, SimTitle0 had found who she was looking for, but was a little grumpy about the initial foolish mistake.
★No sooner had SimTitle0 entered the cave than she spotted the missing pirate. After a quick conversation (and a guarantee of safety), the pirate agreed to head back to the throne room to talk.
★SimTitle0 walked around in huge circles looking for signs of life, but quickly got lost amongst the trees. It took only a small amount of time to find her way out of the forest, but a vague sense of befuddlement lingered. It was clear that the leader wasn't hiding in the forest.
★SimTitle0 was plodding along the stream bank looking for signs of life when she got snagged on a tree root and fell right into the drink! She managed to drag herself out of the water, but not before every stitch of clothing was soaked through.
★Not a single peasant had seen the Pirate Leader in the village for quite some time. SimTitle0 walked back towards TownName, encouraged that she had at least ruled out the village as a possible hiding spot.
★SimTitle0 checked every tavern in town, drinking with the locals in an attempt to gather any information. She found nothing of use. SimTitle0 still wobbled back into town happy as could be, even though the faint beginning of a headache from over-indulgence was already forming.
★SimTitle0 cautiously approached the beast, which was clearly in some form of distress. As it writhed, SimFirstName0 noticed that the tip of one of the tentacles had started splitting.Puzzled, SimFirstName0 picked up an overturned urn for defense and went for a closer look. Just as she got under the splitting tentacle, it broke off, falling towards the ground! SimFirstName0 dove forward and caught the falling object in the urn. A tiny tentacle reached out and gingerly touched her cheek. It was a baby pit beast!The new mother screamed in rage and the battle was on!
★SimTitle0 cautiously approached the beast, which was clearly in some form of distress. As it writhed, SimFirstName0 noticed that the tip of one of the tentacles had started splitting.Puzzled, SimFirstName0 picked up an overturned urn for defense and went for a closer look. Just as she got under the splitting tentacle, it broke off, falling towards the ground! SimFirstName0 dove forward and caught the falling object in the urn. As she peeked inside, a tiny creature shot out, grabbing onto SimFirstName0's face! SimFirstName0 fell back, whipping the tiny beast back into the urn.The new mother screamed in rage and the battle was on!
★SimTitle0 backed away to rest as the beast continued to writhe. It was hard to tell from so far, but it seemed like something was coming loose from the tip of one of the beast's tentacles. SimFirstName0 was squinting into the darkness when whatever it was was whipped off the tentacle and came flying straight at her!SimFirstName0 had no time to react before she was bowled over by the tiny, but quite heavy object. SimFirstName0 looked down to see a tiny version of the pit beast kneading her arm. she grabbed a small urn lying nearby and deposited the baby in it before returning to the battle.
★SimTitle0 handed over the coins to the watchful clerk, pocketing the purchase as she strode out of the tent.
★SimTitle0 glanced at the merchant's wares one last time, before leaving the tent empty-handed.
★SimTitle0 set the roasted trout on a nearby table, and then sat down to conspire with the guard for a few moments. Before sneaking back out of the safe-house, SimTitle0 grabbed a hand-full of blood-stained rags and using the linen she brought, quickly created a make-shift outfit of bandages to complete the ruse.
★The bear was even more fearsome than it had seemed. Even four feet of steel wasn't enough to stop that destructive machine of claw and fur! SimFirstName0 was wounded, but at least she had received some valuable experience.
★After a grueling fight filled with flying fur and flashing blades, SimFirstName0 was victorious, slaying the bear. Not wanting anything to go to waste, SimFirstName0 carved up the carcass. Mmmm, tasty!
★The bear was too fast and caught SimFirstName0. Luckily, after it took a chunk out of her shoulder it left her alone. Hopefully, the bear wouldn't come back.
★After a long chase, SimFirstName0 seemed to have lost the bear in the woods.
★Nothing happened.
★Despite SimTitle0's best efforts to stealthily collect the truffles, the wild boar woke from its slumber. Outraged that anything would intrude upon its cave, much less steal its beloved truffles, the frenzied beast charged! Everything went black...
★Swiftly and silently SimTitle0 emptied the cave of every truffle in sight, gathering the lumpy things into a large sack. The boar continued to sleep in spite of her presence, clearly incapacitated from a truffle binge of inconceivable proportions. Hopefully this creature would find another kingdom to inhabit after waking to find his grotto emptied of its savory snacks.
★SimTitle0 managed to escape the cave before the mighty creature awoke. She reminded herself that discretion was the better part of valor.
★The dwarf grinned and took SimTitle0's money. "You shan't be disappointed. I'll even give you a free sample of my other wares," he said as he pulled out the oldest and most ragged of his books and handed it over. The book filled SimFirstName0 with an odd feeling of warmth as she touched it. "I would imagine a smith of some skill would find that book most interesting" the little man shouted over his shoulder as he darted away.
★The dwarf grinned and took SimTitle0's money. "You shan't be disappointed. I'll even give you a free sample of my other wares" he said as he pulled out the oldest and most ragged of his books and handed it over. The book filled SimFirstName0 with a feeling of gloom as she touched it. "I would imagine a smith of some skill would find that book most interesting" the little man shouted over his shoulder as he darted away.
★"Whaaaaat!" the dwarf shouted as he turned beet red. Before she knew it the dwarf was holding SimTitle0's legs and bawling."You got me, I was trying to rip you off. A strange wizard gave me this book and paid me to deliver it to someone matching your description. I was just trying to make a quick Simole. Please don't hold it against me Mistress."He then handed the book to SimFirstName0 and suggested a smith might find it useful before wandering off.
★The dwarf looked slightly irritated. "You got me, I was trying to rip you off. A strange knight gave me this book and paid me to deliver it to someone matching your description. I was just trying to make a quick Simole, oh well."He handed the book to SimFirstName0 and suggested a smith might find it useful before wandering off.
★Locations visited: Clearing by the Forest, Town Square, Pit of Judgement, the Docks, a Cave, Village of TownName, the Pond, a Beach, the Sacred Oak and, of course, the Throne Room.
★Hidden items: Regal Quill, Monarch's Key, The Royal Teddy, Liege Lens, Lord's Journal, Crown Dagger, Royal Tinderbox, Queen's Music Box, King's Pipe and Noble Wineskin.
★SimFirstName0 attempted to sneak up behind the buck, but tripped on a root and fell flat on her face! The buck sprinted away, bounding over SimFirstName0 and disappearing into the forest.
★Noticing a sturdy-looking branch hanging directly over the buck, SimFirstName0 quietly began to shimmy up the tree. With one hand she pulled herself silently along the branch, while the other hand drew a sharp dagger. When SimTitle0 was positioned directly over the buck, she dropped down onto the animal's back! Moments later she was skinning a fresh kill.
★As SimTitle0 backed out of the ominous chamber, a series of clicks and hisses echoed off the stone corridor. Turning brought her face-to-face with a large spider descending stealthily from the ceiling. A single moment of shock cost her a clean escape and two wicked, dripping mandibles pierced SimTitle0's upraised arms before she managed to lose her the eight-legged predator in the dark, twisting maze of tunnels.
★As SimTitle0 backed out of the ominous chamber, a series of clicks and hisses echoed off the stone corridor. Turning brought her face-to-face with a large spider descending stealthily from the ceiling. Reacting on instinct SimTitle0 dove forward, just moments before its bloated body dropped the last few feet to the ground. Without looking back SimTitle0 raced back along the tunnels, not slowing until the fresh air and sky could be seen from the cave entrance.
★SimTitle0 approached a crumbling stone chest at the foot of the nearest tomb and began to slowly slide off the heavy top. As the lid crashed noisily to the floor in a cloud of dust, several clicks sounded from the walls around the chamber and SimTitle0 was stuck by a half a dozen barbed darts before the air cleared. Shrieking out in pain, SimTitle0 managed to grab a few grimy crystals from the chest with a numb hand, before exiting the crypt on shaky legs.
★SimTitle0 approached a crumbling stone chest at the foot of the nearest tomb and began to slowly slide off the heavy top. The lid crashed noisily to the floor in a cloud of dust. When the air cleared, she gazed down on a small pile of crude, gold coins and a few glittering gems. SimTitle0 quickly pocketed the treasure and hurried from the chamber feeling especially fortune.
★SimTitle0 approached the rune-covered wall and swept away the thick layer of dust. Focusing intently on the symbols, their meaning suddenly became clear in her mind. Without thought, SimTitle0 began chanting the strange words, feeling a growing power electrify the still air of the crypt. Before the last phrase could be uttered, the building energy coalesced around her, searing away at skin and clothes alike. SimTitle0, writhing in pain, crawled from the deadly chamber and deliriously made her way out of caves.
★SimTitle0 approached the rune-covered wall and swept away the thick layer of dust. Focusing intently on the symbols, their meaning suddenly became clear in her mind. Without thought, SimTitle0 began chanting the strange words, feeling a growing power electrify the still air of the crypt. With every phrase, the energy began to pulse around SimTitle0, threatening to break her concentration. Just when it became unbearable, the spell ended with a sudden cold breeze, and the energy exploded in a shower of sparks, leaving a dark metal blade humming at SimTitle0's unsteady feet.
★Heading straight for a large and ornately-decorated coffin in the center of the chamber, SimTitle0 wedged her staff beneath the heavy stone lid and heaved with all her might. With a terrible shriek, the think, rusted hinges gave way and the lid tumbled to the floor. Inside the stone casket, a pale apparition formed and pounced at the breathless SimTitle0, who fell back out of the crypt under a fury of spectral fangs and claws. SimTitle0 ran for her life, pursued by the wraithlike presence all the way back to the safety of the cave entrance.
★Heading straight for a large and ornately-decorated coffin in the center of the chamber, SimTitle0 wedged her staff beneath the heavy stone lid and heaved with all her might. With a terrible shriek, the think, rusted hinges gave way and the lid tumbled to the floor. From the shadows of the tomb's interior, a pile of glittering coins and jewels reflected the light of SimTitle0's torch. Wasting no time, she scooped up as much of the treasure as she could carry before trudging from the crypt, heavily-laden and suddenly very rich.
★SimTitle0 looked at the path ahead, blocked by the thick growth of mushrooms in a haze of glittering spores, and wisely decided to find another passageway. However, as she turned back the way she entered, the clusters of nearby fungus seemed to shiver and a sickly-sweet cloud of pollen engulfed SimTitle0, burning and addling her senses.
★SimTitle0 looked at the path ahead, blocked by the thick growth of mushrooms in a haze of glittering spores, and wisely decided to find another passageway. Stepping carefully to avoid making any contact with fungus, SimTitle0 reached the fresher air of cavern's entrance, and turned one last time to soak in the strange, yet somehow beautiful sight of a sunless forest before leaving the catacombs with a profound sense of calm.
★Before turning to find a more familiar route out of the caves, SimTitle0 bent down to a thick cluster of mushrooms and gingerly picked at the fibrous caps. As she palmed a red and blue spotted specimen, an incessant itching engulfed her hand, followed by an oozing rash that spread quickly up her arm. Dropping the fungus, SimTitle0 stumbled back along the dark passageways, clutching her infected limb.
★Before turning to find a more familiar route out of the caves, SimTitle0 bent down to a thick cluster of mushrooms and gingerly picked at the fibrous caps. Gathering only the harmless fungus she recognized, SimTitle0 left the cavern and its subterranean forest a several minutes later, satisfied with a bulging pouch of fragrant fungus and lichen.
★SimTitle0 followed the sickening little creature through tunnel after tunnel, deep into the heart of the caverns. Without warning it turned and attacked in a fury of claws and bad breath!In a panic and blinded by darkness, SimFirstName0 thrashed madly about, feeling feverishly along slick cave walls for hours before finding the way back out.
★Stealthily, SimTitle0 followed the sickening little creature through tunnel after tunnel, deep into the heart of the caverns, to its revolting sticky nest. After it left, SimTitle0 ransacked its home and stole everything it had!
★SimTitle0 watched the frightened thing skitter off to its pathetic subterranean lair. Best not fool with the Watcher's children she thought to herself.
★With a self-righteous smile, SimFirstName0 ignored the tempting rock, looked down humbly at her feet, and turned to leave the beautiful chasm, knowing in her heart that she made the right choice.
★SimFirstName0 looked humbly down at her feet and kicked at the loose stones on the floor, disgruntled with her decision. Surprised, SimFirstName0 realized she had just uncovered a similar stone of twice the size hidden underfoot! What luck!
★Eyes wide with greed, SimFirstName0 feverishly stacked some odd rocks and jumped up clutching and grasping at the sparkling rock like a crazed mountain dwarf...But unlike a dwarf, SimFirstName0 lost her footing and tumbled headlong and screaming into the gaping chasm and fetid pool of water below.
★SimFirstName0 stacked a few odd rocks, carefully climbed up the pile, teetered back and forth and, with sweat pouring down her face, carefully managed to reach up and pluck the beautiful stone from the wall!
★The little man grinned delightedly at SimFirstName0's interest."Certainly certainly certainly! Here's your very own Churdle Potion, guaranteed to give you an incredible surge of power!"SimFirstName0 walked away, uncertain of exactly what she had just purchased.
★SimTitle0 continued on her way, content that she made the right choice avoiding the little man named Churdle.
★Reacting instantly, she pulled out her sword and finished the hapless deer as it passed by.
★Nothing happens...
★The attempt was futile. The creature slammed sideways into SimTitle0, tossing her like a doll against the wall of the pit. Something glinted not an inch from SimFirstName0's eye. It was the blade of a sword, snapped off at the hilt and embedded in the wall. Ducking another swipe from the monster, SimFirstName0 freed the blade from the wall with a loose rock.Snatching up the blade, SimFirstName0 felt a cold shiver shoot through her spine. She quickly stowed the curious weapon. It could be identified later, if she survived the battle.
★As she picked up the rock, SimTitle0 saw a strange metal object sticking out of the dirt. She yanked at it and an ebony-black sword hilt with a broken blade came up in her hand.The creature swiped, but SimFirstName0 slashed back at it with the blade. The broken sword bit deep into the monster's flesh, and the creature reared back in pain and retreated. SimFirstName0 took the opportunity to stand up and get back into the action!
★SimTitle0 threw a rock to distract the monster, then dashed out towards the alcove. She dove into the alcove face-first, nearly impaling herself on a sharp piece of metal sticking from the sand. Pulling it up, she discovered she held an ebony-black sword hilt with a broken blade.Feeling empowered, SimFirstName0 stepped out from her relative safety wielding the broken blade. As the monster approached SimFirstName0, she slashed back at it with the broken sword. Dark blade met cursed flesh, and the monster backed away warily. The battle was back on!
★Bashing open the lock with her sword-hilt, SimTitle0 found an eclectic collection of items that could only be called "pirate booty".
★The figure turned, revealing a scruffy-looking man. He stared dumbfounded at SimTitle0 for a moment, before scrambling to his feet in an awkward bow. I'd like to have a word with you. SimTitle0 stated. Outside, if you please. The smell in here is starting to seep into my clothes.
★As the voices got nearer, SimTitle0 hastily snatched up a bulging burlap sack beside fire pit, and quietly retreated back to the tunnel to the surface, just as a small group of ragged men emerged from a passage on the far side of the chamber.
★Judging by the sounds, SimTitle0 had a few minutes before company arrived. Quickly scanning the campsite, she noticed a small chest beside the bedrolls. Without a second thought, she tucked the wooden trunk under an arm and headed back towards the surface, chuckling at the reactions of the outlaws when they discovered their stolen goods had been stolen.
★After several long minutes, three grungy figures emerged from a small tunnel and into the firelight. As SimTitle0 rose from the shadows to ambush them, the sound of her sword leaving its sheath betrayed her. Two of the outlaws fled back down the tunnel they had come from, while the last leapt at SimTitle0 and landed a lucky blow with a crude club before he impaled himself on her poised blade.
★After several long minutes, three grungy figures emerged into the firelight from the other side of the chamber. SimTitle0 rose from the shadows behind them, and before they could cry out their alarm, two of the unfortunate squatters had been dispatched. The third tried to defend himself with a crude wooden club, but was no match for SimTitle0's combat skill, nor her finely crafted blade.
★SimTitle0 called out to her crew:"Set fire to the enemy ship. The time for mercy is over. TownName and Aarbyville are the new masters of the sea!"The panicked cries of the enemy crew faded into the distance as SimTitle0 sailed back toward TownName with Admiral Mandrake struggling helplessly against his tightly bound restraints.
★SimTitle0 called out to the crew remaining on the Admiral's ship:"Your navy is broken! Return home and tell your people that any who continue to oppose us will not be as lucky as you are today."The crippled enemy ship faded into the distance as SimTitle0 sailed back toward TownName with Admiral Mandrake struggling helplessly against his tightly bound restraints.
★SimTitle0 gained some tactical insights from scouting the Tredonian defenses.
★SimTitle0 received an Interrogation Chair from the Nobles.It has been placed in the Monarch's Household Inventory and can be accessed through Furnish Mode.
★SimTitle0 received an Interrogation Chair from the Pirates.It has been placed in the Monarch's Household Inventory and can be accessed through Furnish Mode.
★SimFirstName0 opened the lid and found a small bounty of wet coins inside. It paid to be adventurous!
★As SimFirstName0 backed away, ripples in the water disturbed the chest. Suddenly, the chest glowed hot and exploded in an immense fireball. Luckily, SimFirstName0 had kept her distance. She was not burned, but only knocked off of her feet.All around, burning-hot coins from inside the chest rained down and smoldered on the cold cave floor.
★The lady nodded. Very good, very good, Your Highness. You are wise indeed. Then I present you with the gift of resilience: the Monarch's Armor of Fortitude. It is not the best armor, but let it symbolize your goals as you build TownName into a great, bustling kingdom.
★The lady nodded. Very good, very good, Your Highness. You are wise indeed. Then I present you with the gift of authority: the Monarch's Blade of Strength. It is not the best sword, but let it symbolize your goals as you build TownName into a great, bustling kingdom.
★SimTitle0 burst through the shrubbery, screaming and waving her arms to scare off the supposedly skittish elves. The music stopped immediately and, in unison, each elf slowly turned to face SimTitle0.There was an awkward moment of silence, and then - like lightning! - an explosion of arrows and spears. SimFirstName0 ran blindly for her life, miraculously escaping without injury. So much for skittish! she choked to herself.
★SimTitle0 burst through the shrubbery, screaming and waving her arms to scare off the skittish elves, who bolted for the safety of the dark forest.With the overgrown blue creatures out of the way, she quickly chopped down the tree, each blow dimming its glowing branches until it collapsed in a shower of gray splinters. Totally shattered, sparkling crystals could be seen beneath the tree's upended roots. Yes! roared SimTitle0, These will sell for a fortune!
★SimTitle0 crept forward and tried to keep quiet, but tripped on a creeper-vine and flew headlong into the dancing elves' midst. To shrill shrieks of horror and surprise the skittish elves stampeded for their lives, trampling poor SimFirstName0 under their big blue feet. Aching, SimTitle0 got up and searched the area but could find nothing but a few miserable shards of quartz.
★SimTitle0 crept forward and observed the blue elves' sacred ceremony around the glowing tree. After singing prayers to the spirits of their ancestors, they departed in silence and the tree grew dim.Still enchanted by the sylvan scene, SimFirstName0 walked forward and hugged the tree goodbye and then turned to leave, but stubbed her toe on a small, heavy stone. Mana stones! she exclaimed, and quickly gathered up a few more.
★SimTitle0 tip-toed up behind the red-eyed rodent, timing each step to the rise and falls of the creature's jaw to mask her steps.But the cagey cavy snapped its head around and hissed aggressively, its red eyes afire. SimFirstName0 pounced with her burlap sack but came down hard and off-balance on the poor creature, crushing it with a sickening squeak.
★SimTitle0 tip-toed up behind the red-eyed rodent, timing each step to the rise and fall of the creature's jaw to mask her steps. Hovering just a moment over the red-eyed rodent for balance, she then pounced on the frightened fur ball and stuffed it quickly in a sack. Come to Mama! she beamed, pouring the creature into a sturdy wooden box.
★SimTitle0 left the rodent to gnaw in peace, knowing full well she could always return and try to catch a chinchilla later, temporarily sparing herself the frustration of a quarry lost or the shame of caging a wild animal.
★SimTitle0 drew her staff and began to chant quickly. Before the final incantation could be spoken, the cloaked figure struck with its open palm, burning SimTitle0's flesh with extreme cold. Remaining focused, she finished the incantation and warped past the figure onto the far bank. Without looking back, SimTitle0 dove into the underbrush and scrambled back to TownName, horrified but intact.
★SimTitle0 drew her staff and began to chant quickly, catching the silent figure by surprise. As a wicked scythe materialized from somewhere beneath its dark cloak, SimTitle0 launched a crackling bolt of energy at her foe, which struck the deadly weapon in a blinding shower of sparks. When SimTitle0's vision cleared, all that remained was the smoking blade of the scythe and a clear path across the bridge, which SimTitle0 followed, pausing long enough to collect the dark, metal edge.
★SimTitle0 reluctantly drew out a handful of gold to place in the cloaked figure's cold palm. The dark cowl shook imperceptibly, and in a blur of movement the figure drew a wicked scythe from out of nowhere and swung at SimTitle0.Dodging reflexively, she launched a bolt of magic energy at the figure, who hissed before melting into the shadows beneath the bridge. SimTitle0 scooped up several of the coins that had fallen during the fight and ran, terrified, back towards TownName.
★SimTitle0 reluctantly drew out a handful of gold to place in the cloaked figure's cold palm. With a slight nod of the cowl, the figure stood aside, allowing her to pass unmolested. However, that did not stop SimTitle0 from quickly walking towards more familiar surroundings, looking back for pursuit with every sound.
★SimTitle0 jumped from puddle to puddle through the soggy bog, forcing her way through the thick reeds and bramble, digging up root after root, getting more and more frustrated as time wore on. There's nothing here but a bunch of damp old mushrooms and river stones! she grumbled bitterly. Wiping the sweat and dirt from her brow, she trudged out of the boggy meadow and continued on her sullen walk.
★SimTitle0 jumped from puddle to puddle through the soggy bog, forcing her way through the thick reeds and bramble, digging up root after root, whistling merrily to herself. The hard work paid off with a rich harvest of rare Belladonna roots. She even got lucky and plucked some semi-precious stones from their tangled roots!
★SimTitle0 paid no mind to the temptations of the meadow, knowing such dreary collection should be reserved for those more... suited to that kind of work. Her time and skills were of much higher value elsewhere.
★SimTitle0 looked longingly at the meadow, but then shook her head. Highly effective people need to minimize these types of risky distractions, she thought to herself. SimFirstName0 spun on her heel and was off in a flurry of efficiency and complex mental calculations.
★SimTitle0 crept up on the pixie, speaking in gentle tones to lure the little sparkler into a false sense of security. Shhhhh. It's alright& I'm here to help, she lied.But pixies weren't dumb -- she immediately sensed the trap and blasted some pixie dust into SimFirstName0's surprised face. Gagging and coughing, SimTitle0 jumped and grabbed wildly at the dust cloud, but the winged little creature dashed and darted about, stinging and biting her angrily. Stupid little pixie! SimFirstName0 yelled in frustration, as the creature zipped away. Buzz off!
★SimTitle0 crept up on the pixie, speaking in gentle tones to lure the little sparkler into a false sense of security. Shhhhh. It's alright& I'm here to help, she lied.The creature hesitated for a moment and in an instant, SimTitle0 was upon her. The furious little pixie scratched and bit and stung, but soon found herself trapped in a small bottle. Gotcha! snickered SimTitle0, as she beamed wildly at her pricey little captive.
★SimTitle0 started reaching towards the scared little pixie as gently as possible, but this just terrified the winged creature even more. It furiously buzzed and bounced down the road and tripped, squeaking, into a small stream, where it was quickly washed away, its fate unknown. Ooops& said SimFirstName0 sheepishly.
★SimTitle0 gently approached the panicked pixie and offered her a hand. The pixie hesitated for a few moments but then meekly nodded, a small tear in her eye.SimFirstName0 carefully unstuck her little wing and let the pixie perch on her forearm so she could take flight."Thank you kind lady," the pixie squeaked. "It is not often that humans open their hearts to the suffering of other creatures."She then plopped some little presents in SimTitle0's eager palm and zipped off into the sky, leaving a beautiful trail of pink pixie dust.
★SimTitle0 dropped to her knees at the mossy bank of the sparkling spring and pressed her lips to the bubbling waters, taking a long sip. Her stomach reacted almost immediately, making SimFirstName0 gag.Spitting and dry heaving the gunk out, the toxins nonetheless made their way through her entire body. SimFirstName0 reeled and stumbled through the rank spring. At least I can collect some of this stinking Bloodmoss, she grumbled, stooping to pluck some of the vile moss from amongst the black pond scum.
★SimTitle0 dropped to her knees at the mossy bank of the sparkling spring and pressed her lips to the bubbling waters, taking a long sip. Instantly, she felt a cool wave of pleasure and energy splash through her veins, rush up her spine, and tingle every extremity with health and vitality. Oh my, it's DELICIOUS! she gushed. Splashing into the water, SimFirstName0 drank her fill and bottled up as much of the precious liquid as she could carry.
★SimTitle0 ignored the sparkling spring, knowing that only a fool would drink from a random pool of water. Still, those childhood stories must have been based on something. Continuing on down the trail, the thought nagged her for the rest of the day.
★SimTitle0 continued on down the trail, looking over her shoulder one last time, wondering if she had made the right decision. Never get off the path, never get off the path, she kept reminding herself, and left the mysterious spring behind.
★SimTitle0 held her breath for what seemed like an eternity until the fabled creature was almost upon her. In her haste she jumped too soon, alerting the timid creature. Panicked, it reared back and then charged with its sharp horn. SimFirstName0 was impaled and left gasping for air in the dust as the magical creature escaped into the woods.
★SimTitle0 held her breath for what seemed like an eternity until the fabled creature was almost upon her. In a flash, she was on the startled animal's back with a drawn dagger. Cleanly slicing the animal's throat, SimTitle0 rolled aside as the creature fell to one knee and, with a last wail, crashed to the forest floor with a sickening thud.SimTitle0 butchered the animal for the finest cuts of meat, and extracted the glorious horn from the head after much bloody trial and error.
★SimTitle0 trembled with anticipation and awe as the magical creature drew near. But as it strode into the light, SimFirstName0 realized that it was merely some fat, lost, albino goat missing one horn. SimFirstName0 cursed her luck loudly and scared the animal off, depriving herself of even a tasty goat stew. Feeling the fool, she trudged off down the path once again.
★SimTitle0 trembled with anticipation and awe as the magical creature drew near. It trotted into the light almost within reach, its curling horn gleaming and sparkling. It grazed on some flowers for a moment and then sensing SimFirstName0's presence, reared up on its hind legs and then dashed off into the trees.SimTitle0 was beside herself with excitement and delight, having witnessed such a miraculous creature!
★SimTitle0 skulked away from the window and crept away from the vicinity of the hut, the cries of the two children drawing fainter and fainter until they could not be heard at all. She probably won't hurt them& some witches are good witches, she thought to comfort herself.
★SimTitle0 snuck away from the hut, careful not to make any sounds that would alert the witch. One of the children let out a blood-curdling scream that sent a chill down SimFirstName0's spine. Then all was silent. SimTitle0 crept off, feeling like a coward.
★SimTitle0 crept up behind the old hag and tried to push her into the fire, but the spry witch snatched and yanked SimFirstName0's sleeve, sending her flying across the room in a pile. Shrieking with laughter, she cursed SimTitle0 and flew off on her crooked broom.SimFirstName0 untied and released the children, who continued crying. Why did you attack Grandma!? We were just about to eat! We're starving! they cried.Realizing she'd made a terrible mistake, SimFirstName0 quickly left the scene.
★SimTitle0 crept up behind the old hag and pushed her into the fire, where she shrieked and popped like a sack of Craftholian firecrackers before exploding with an evil laugh.The children were quickly released, shedding tears of joy and relief. Poking around the fire, SimFirstName0 could find no trace of the witch's body. How had she escaped?
★Minutes slipped by as SimTitle0 lost herself in the artistry of crafting a masterpiece. Folding the metal alloy upon itself countless times, she joined it to the legendary hilt of Mace Moon.SimFirstName0 then thrust the entire weapon in the glowing embers, getting the metal white hot before dousing it with the powerful catalyst. The blade seemed to hum as the liquid coated its surface.
★Minutes slipped by as SimTitle0 lost herself in the artistry of crafting a masterpiece. Folding the metal alloy upon itself countless times, she joined it to the legendary hilt of Mace Moon.SimFirstName0 then thrust the entire weapon in the glowing embers, getting the metal white hot before dousing it with the powerful catalyst. The blade seemed to hum as the liquid coated its surface.
★Minutes slipped by as SimTitle0 lost herself in the artistry of crafting a masterpiece. Folding the metal alloy upon itself countless times, she joined it to the legendary hilt of Mace Moon.SimFirstName0 then thrust the entire weapon in the glowing embers, getting the metal white hot before dousing it with the powerful catalyst. The blade seemed to hum as the liquid coated its surface.
★Minutes slipped by as SimTitle0 lost herself in the artistry of crafting a masterpiece. Folding the metal alloy upon itself countless times, she joined it to the legendary hilt of Mace Moon.SimTitle0 then thrust the entire weapon in the glowing embers, getting the metal white hot before dousing it with the powerful catalyst. The blade seemed to hum as the liquid coated its surface.
★The Pirate took you up on your offer. Unfortunately, he seemed determined to follow every minor animal trail and incorrect fork in the path, all while distracting you with inane chatter about how he was going to find himself a cute elven wife. By the time you realized you were now lost yourself, you'd had enough. Bidding him good luck and sending him off in a random direction, you spent the next several hours finding your way back to the main path, tired and frustrated.
★The pirate gave you a long stare through his beady eye. "Well, of course it is! No wonder I couldn't figure out this blasted map! Landlubber who sold it to me said that Elves love the forest, which is why I came here! Here! You take the dumb map, I'll find those toothsome elf wenches on my own!" Then he stormed off into the woods, surely to just get lost again. Oddly enough, you discovered that the map appeared to be directions to Gastonbury and not Effenmont. How bizarre.
★You started your instructions with, "First, you are going to need 13 pit beast toenail clippings, and then-" But the Pirate interrupted you, pulled out a bag, and said, "I already got those, and the deep fried basilisk livers, and the lama scale armor set, and..." The pirate proceeded to regale you with the most non-sensical sequence of events you'd ever heard. Eventually you just had to walk away while he kept talking for fear that dumb was contageous.
★You proceeded to give the slack-jawed pirate the most incredible and outrageously detailed set of false directions ever conceived by man. "...and that's where you spread out the dire chinchilla pelts as an offering to the elves' pet turtles. Then you follow the turtles back across the fjord bridge and you're there!" Awestruck, the grateful Pirate handed you a sack of coins and then dove into the forest looking for pit beast toenail clippings.
★You directed them to the castle and bid them good luck. "Excellent!" they exclamied and they headed off. That was the last you saw of them. You did however notice that the word 'Excellent!' seemed to suddenly become a common utterance around town.
★You pointed them in the direction of the castle. Delighted, they sauntered off towards the castle with a carefree gait. Sometime later they came tearing back down the patch giggling like two juvenile pranksters with the constable chasing behind them. "Thanks for the help, Medieval Babe!" they shouted as they ran by dropping a crumpled piece of paper on the ground before you.
★You directed them to the pit, but a little while later, they returned to you looking rather cross. "Those medieval ugly dudes you sent us to tried to feed us to a most non-excellent pit monster," said one. "I think you need to meet our friend Melvin!" said the other. They then proceeded to grab your undergarments and pull them up entirely too far. Ouch.
★You pointed them in the direction of the pit and they sauntered off. Sometime later, the constable came limping gingerly down the path. "Did you see two strangely attired delinquents around here?" he asked furtively. "Uh... no..." you lied. "What did they do?" "They were obviously trouble, so when I threated to put them in the stocks, they grabbed my underleggings and attempted to pull them over my head! Nobody has ever challenged me before! They dropped this as they fled."
★You started to pick up the planted coins, but within minutes several other farmers appeared and proceeded to whallop you. Luckily, you got out of the fray before being too seriously injured.
★For the next hour, you followed behind the simole farmer, picking up every coin he planted. He worked more and more frantically, but you could pick up coins much faster than he could plant them. Finally, he glared at you furiously and then vanished.
★The constable sighed, took your report, and then proceeded to do absolutely nothing about it.
★Surprisingly, the constable would later report that the simole farmer led him to an entire gang of farmers, and he managed to collect a considerable bounty from a neighboring kingdom. He shared the bounty with you for tipping him off.
★The attack happened almost immediately. Three thieves charged out of the underbrush and threatened to attack. Without warning, the Tredonian fled your side in a mad dash. Two of the thieves followed, leaving just one to fight you. Ultimately, the thief seemed interested only in ensuring you couldn't follow. After you twisted your ankle, he seemed relieved and followed after his cohorts.
★Being far more familiar with these woods than the thieves, you managed to easily spot and avoid the ambush they set. For all you know, those dumb thieves are still waiting! The Tredonian noble was so grateful, he handed over his purse and a few baubles he was carrying as a reward.
★Crawling into a nearby gully, you waited for the attack. And waited... And waited... Sometime later, another Tredonian fop came meandering down the path, waving at the first noble as he approached. "I hope you didn't have to wait long!" said the newcomer. "Oh, no bother!" replied the first. "I amused myself by convincing this fool to roll around in that gully for a bit."
★Climbing a nearby tree, you waited for the attack. Two muggers came skulking out of the woods. You launched yourself on the farther one, knocking him out cold. When the first turned in amazement, the noble hit him with a strategically placed stick. The hit was rather lame, but the thief apparently had had enough, so he grabbed his comatose cohort and fled. The Tredonian, apparently impressed with his own bravery, gave you a few coins for your trouble, but still grumbled that he 'did all the work'.
★Oddly, the trader seemed reluctant to sell his wares. "These are promised to the kingdom of Crafthole!" the trader insisted. "They are paying top coin there, what with the war limiting supplies." Sensing that you were being played, but eager to be rid of the annoyance, you talked the trader into selling you some of the noisier objects at a high markup. At least the animals started to reappear.
★The trader was delighted for the opportunity to sell off a few items, fattening his purse and lightening his load. You managed to pick up some goods well below what you'd pay in the village shoppe. Unfortunately, as the merchant trundled off, you realized that now you had become a bit noisy too... Hmmm...
★When you approached the trader, he immediately started shouting, "THIEF! CUTTHROAT! AARBYVILLIAN!" and then proceeded to bang pots and pans together, making even more noise. When you tried to calm him down, he swung the pan in terror and clouted you on the head. Dazed, you woke up a short while later with a splitting headache. At least the noise was gone... well... except for the ringing in your head.
★The trader was not expecting to be accosted with a noise complaint in the middle of nowhere. "You must be one of those Aarbyville Pirates I keep hearing about! I thought they only attacked boats! Here, take my purse, you brigand!" He threw the purse behind you into the brush and than started running off with his cart. At least he left.
★After saying a quick blessing over the skeleton, SimTitle0 continued on.A few minutes later a gust of wind blew past her ear. Within it she could hear a child's voice whisper, "Thank you, look behind..."When she turned to look, she found lying on the ground what appeared to be the metallic object she had seen clutched in the skeleton's hand."You're welcome!" SimFirstName0 called out as she picked it up.
★The skeleton was extremely old but it had an iron grip on its treasure. SimTitle0 had to snap the fingers off one by one to free the object.After a few minutes of grim labor, however, SimFirstName0's efforts paid off. She was the owner of a brand new... ancient metallic object.
★The fountain seemed to splash more merrily as the satisfaction of the ethereal voice echoed softly across the glade. You chose wisely.
★The fountain seemed to splash more merrily as the satisfaction of the ethereal voice echoed softly across the glade. You chose wisely.
★"You answered...poorly."Suddenly, the world about SimTitle0 darkened to pitch. A sensation of falling was accompanied by the shrieking of a terrible storm. SimTitle0 awoke on the edge of TownName from a terrible dream she could not fully recall.
★"You answered...poorly."Suddenly, the world about SimTitle0 darkened to pitch. A sensation of falling was accompanied by the shrieking of a terrible storm. SimTitle0 awoke on the edge of TownName from a terrible dream she could not fully recall.
★SimTitle0 kept close to the silent guide as he deftly slipped through the gloom of the ancient forest. He abruptly stopped and motioned through a break in the trees.Beyond was a strangely bright, serene clearing from which SimFirstName0 heard the tinkling sound of water. Looking back, the guide was nowhere to be found, but on the ground where he had been was a small pile of coins.
★After following the guide deeper into the dark heart of the Forest, SimTitle0 looked up from scanning the ground at a rustling behind her. The mysterious guide had disappeared into the underbrush with a fading cackle and jingle of coins, leaving SimTitle0 even more disoriented than before.
★Retracing the game trail through the woods, SimTitle0 nearly walked past a faint fork in the road, invisible from the other direction.Boldly she delved into the underbrush and made her way down into a dark forest valley. Just as SimTitle0 was about to backtrack again, she noticed a flickering golden light through the branches ahead.
★Backtracking, SimTitle0 returned to the main forest path a few leagues from TownName. The good news was she was no longer lost; the bad news was locating the fountain was that much further away.
★The cover of the forest fell away as SimTitle0 trekked toward the distant mountains. Storm clouds gathered, buffeting SimTitle0 with the icy wind that blew down from their snow-capped peaks.Taking refuge in a small cave in the foothills, SimTitle0 explored the networks of dank caverns while the storm raged outside. When she could wait no longer, SimTitle0 stumbled back into the gale, descending back into the relative calm of the dark forest.
★Trekking towards the distant peaks, SimTitle0 stumbled out of the brush to find a rocky rise in the foothills. Above her dark, swollen clouds swirled around the summit, threatening a storm at any moment. Looking back to the woods, SimTitle0 spotted a golden glow flickering from within the dark heart of the forest.Renewed hope carried SimTitle0 unerringly towards the source of the strange light.
★After a very precarious climb, SimTitle0 hoisted herself onto the ledge and out of the fog.Heaving for breath, SimTitle0 looked up to behold a small sunlit grove with an ancient, golden fountain bubbling at its center.
★Following the stream steadily uphill, and selecting forks to follow at random, SimTitle0 finally reached its source. A bubbling spring lay nestled in a small glade, tucked high in the foothills. While serene, the spring was far from legendary.SimTitle0 decided to rest on the grassy banks, before returning to check the numerous other tributaries she had passed on the way.
★The child explained that she had lost her only toy down the nearby gutter, but her arms were too short to reach it.Wrinkling her nose, SimFirstName0 got down on her stomach and reached shoulder deep into the gutter. After feeling around for a second, she was able to pull up the toy as well as an interesting little trinket!
★The child explained that she had lost her only toy down the gutter and she couldn't reach it because her arms were too short.Wrinkling her nose, SimFirstName0 got on her stomach and reached shoulder deep into the gutter. And that was when the little twerp ran up and kicked SimFirstName0 in the face before running away cackling at her clever joke!It was humiliating, but at least SimFirstName0 recovered an interesting trinket from the gutter.
★SimTitle0 kept walking, ignoring the crying child. Her sobs echoed off the buildings for several blocks before the sound faded away.
★The merchant could not be saved and passed into the arms of the Watcher. Before dying, he whispered a secret location where he kept his life savings. It was nearby and SimFirstName0 was able to find it.
★The merchant was able to pull through. Being very grateful, he gave SimFirstName0 some of his merchandise and promised to sing the praises of TownName wherever his travels took him.
★Ignoring the pitiful murmurings of the merchant, SimFirstName0 collected everything of value from the merchant's camp and moved on. The camp had several items the merchant was planning to sell, as well as a small coin purse.
★SimTitle0 passed the gold to the seller and took the Luffenting Ale back to the ship.It may have cost a bit more than anticipated, but she had successfully acquired the ale, and that's what mattered.
★SimTitle0 and the ale merchant went back and forth a few times on the fairest price for a keg, but the ale merchant was no match for SimFirstName0.At last, he relented, selling the keg at a large discount. SimFirstName0 smiled, picked up the keg, and headed back towards her ship.
★The man took the gold from SimTitle0, rolled the keg over, and disappeared into the alley.SimFirstName0 picked up the keg only to find that it was much lighter than expected. Then, a sudden realization: the keg was empty! SimFirstName0 hauled it back to the ship, disappointed at having wasted her gold.
★SimTitle0 walked around the market a bit longer, but wasn't able to find anyone selling Luffenting Ale.She headed back to the ship empty-handed, when a merchant loading another ship suddenly hailed her."You were looking for a Luffenting Ale keg, weren't you?" SimFirstName0 nodded."Well, it's your lucky day! We got an extra keg we can't fit onto our ship. It's yours if you want it!"
★The ghostly visage of the warrior smiled at SimTitle0."That is correct," he said. "I am Jacob Tillow. You have passed the first test. Take this soul of a soldier from our army as a reward. Return when you have acquired a Lordleaf, and your test will continue."
★Jacob mulled the answer SimFirstName0 had just given, then nodded."That," he said, "is correct. Here is another soul for you. Your next task is to bring me a Mystic Grog. While we have no need for its ingredients, we wish to see your prowess at crafting potions."
★Jacob turned toward his army, standing behind him, and raised his ghostly sword high. A great yet ghastly roar rang through the cavern."Huzzah! You are once again correct and the Army of the Forgotten shall fight for your cause. Use this final soul to create a vial of 'Call of the Forgotten' and use it when you wish for us to appear.""One last thing: if you ever need more souls, bring us 5 Lordleaf in exchange for one soul."
★"Incorrect!" bellowed the ghostly leader.Before SimTitle0 could react, the vision plunged his illusionary sword into SimFirstName0. The resulting pain was quite real."Return when you are worthy of our attention," the man scoffed.
★SimTitle0 turned to the brigand, who was cowering in fear.A few kind words later and the paper was in SimFirstName0's hand. A quick look revealed that it was a crudely drawn map to the bandit's camp, with some encoded scrawls scattered across it.She looked back at the brigand, who was still whimpering on the ground. With a light kick, she forced the brigand to his feet and sent him off into the forest. She had gotten what she needed. No need to spill unnecessary blood.
★SimTitle0 reached quickly for the brigand's pocket, only to be met with a bit of resistance. It turned out the brigand had a bit of fight left in him after all.His hand shot out to stop SimFirstName0's, only to fall limp a second later as SimFirstName0's dagger plunged into the brigand's chest. SimFirstName0 muttered to herself as she wiped the blade clean and plucked the paper from the brigand's pocket.It was a map to the brigand's camp, with codes and ciphers scattered across its face. A good find.
★SimTitle0 tossed the remaining plans into a nearby fireplace and watched the fire consume them. She smiled.That would certainly slow the brigands down. SimFirstName0 slipped back out of the tent, took one last look around to make sure no one was watching, and disappeared back into the forest.
★The brigands were sure to have copies of these plans elsewhere. There was no need to warn them that SimTitle0 had been in their camp.SimFirstName0 looked around a bit more, pocketed a few bags of gold, and slipped back out of the tent and into the forest.
★SimTitle0 walked around the market a bit longer, but wasn't able to find anyone selling Luffenting Ale.She headed back to the ship empty-handed.
★While the haggling between SimTitle0 and the ale merchant began in a friendly enough tone, things soon became tense.Both weren't willing to concede and when SimFirstName0 made one last stab at a price she thought more than fair, the merchant indicated that he had finally had enough. Nothing would be sold to SimFirstName0 today! He turned away from her and towards another waiting customer.SimFirstName0 left in a huff, disgusted and annoyed.
★The man took the gold from SimTitle0, rolled the keg over, and disappeared into the alley.SimFirstName0 picked up the keg and headed back to the ship. Regardless of how the man came into possession of the keg, Luffenting Ale was Luffenting Ale.
★SimFirstName0 set the cheese on the floor and waited. Slowly, the mouse emerged from its hole and started to nibble on the cheese."Yes, mouse, savor the cheese while you can. Your doom draws near."SimFirstName0 pounced! The mouse was caught off-guard and found itself scooped quickly into a bag.
★The mouse got away!
★SimTitle0 shoved her hand into the mouse hole, groping about madly, feeling only dust and cheese.Suddenly, there was a searing pain! Despite SimFirstName0's best efforts, her only reward was a hand covered in mouse bites.
★SimTitle0's hand darted into the hole and felt a squirming mass of fur and tails. It was a crowded den! She managed to grab three mice before the others could escape.
★SimTitle0 met the mouse's stare, daring it to try for the cheese she had placed on the floor nearby.The mouse ran for the cheese, SimFirstName0 pounced with her bag, the mouse scrambled to reverse direction, but SimFirstName0 was too quick and claimed the furry little trophy for her collection.
★SimTitle0 placed the cheese on the floor and took a few steps back, opening her arms wide as if to say, "All yours, little guy."Her muscles tensed as the mouse moved towards the cheese... SimFirstName0 lunged forward! The mouse was too quick for her, snatching the cheese before she could stop it. SimFirstName0 swore she could hear it laughing as it scurried off to hide in the shadows.
★SimFirstName0 seized the initiative and sprang at the mouse, but it dodged her assault and tried to run.Close on its tail, SimFirstName0 pursued the mouse and trapped it in a corner. The mouse cowered in fear as SimFirstName0 reached down and snatched it up into her bag.
★SimFirstName0 leaped at the mouse, but it evaded her and scurried under a nearby pile of crates.In a mad scramble, SimFirstName0 dived into the crate pile, sending them flying as the mouse tried to find refuge. SimFirstName0 emerged victorious with not one, but two mice! What now, mice?
★SimFirstName0 chased after the mouse, but it was too quick and too small to follow easily."I'll get you next time, mouse," she grumbled, shaking her head with shame.
★With her cunning trap set, SimFirstName0 waited for her prey. Soon, a mouse showed up and sniffed at the cheese.SimTitle0 waited patiently... patiently... and sprung the trap! The mouse was snared and SimFirstName0 easily gathered it into her bag.
★With her trap set, SimFirstName0 waited nearby for her prey to arrive. Soon, a mouse appeared. It approached the cheese and stopped, looking about the room warily.With lightning fast reflexes, the mouse grabbed the cheese and ran! The trap sprung but the mouse was too quick.
★SimFirstName0 imagined herself as a mouse, thinking like a mouse, feeling like a mouse, and soon she found herself making squeaking sounds and hungering for cheese.With all her concentration, SimFirstName0 beseeched her fellow mice to come join her for a feast, but no mice answered her call.SimFirstName0 turned around to find the innkeeper staring at her and scratching her head.
★SimFirstName0 placed her bag on the floor with a chunk of cheese inside of it. Crawling on all fours, she focused all her concentration and did her best to imitate the squeaking sounds mice are known to make.To SimFirstName0's amazement, five mice came running from various hiding spots and hopped into her bag to nibble on the delectable cheese!
★SimFirstName0 forbade the crew from indulging in their mysterious island fantasy and ordered them back on course. Slowly, the gleam of hope left their eyes, replaced by the hardened grimace of the bitter and downtrodden. They cursed SimFirstName0's name as they trudged back to their posts.
★SimFirstName0 forbade the crew from indulging in their mysterious island fantasy. She grabbed the wheel, and, after a quick lecture on work ethic and focus, steered the ship back on course. The crew was mightily impressed with SimFirstName0's take-charge attitude and charisma!
★SimFirstName0 allowed the crew to investigate the island, but after hours of searching and scratching all they found were a few herbs, flowers, and the pain of seeing dreams dashed on the harsh rocks of reality once again.
★SimFirstName0 allowed the crew to investigate the island, and after hours of searching and exploring they found some long-lost pirate treasure! Much merriment was had by all as they danced in the gold Simoles!
★The ships crashed into each other with a deafening crack and the two crews attacked each other like crazed monkeys. The battle lasted for hours with no clear victor and much loss of life on both sides. The ships detached and drew apart in the mist. Feelings of disgrace and shame gripped the crew as they watched the faces of dead comrades slip beneath the dark waters, their deaths in vain.
★As the predatory pirate galley closed in for the kill, SimFirstName0's crew deftly out-maneuvered and surprised them with a thunderous broadside. The pirates were massacred above deck while SimFirstName0 freed the slaves from their oar-chains below.The crew cheered SimTitle0's name as they divided up the spoils!
★Caught off-guard and reacting too late, SimFirstName0's vessel couldn't maneuver fast enough to escape without a fight. The two ships clashed in a hurricane of steel, men, cursing and smoke, with neither side the victor.The crippled pirate galley limped off after a while, leaving SimTitle0 and the remains of her crew to ponder their luck.
★Try as they might, the pirate's oars couldn't match the speed of a well-crewed ship under full sail and able command. As a final indignity, SimFirstName0 personally hurled some rather creative insults at the pirates that even got the grizzled quartermaster to blush.The crew burst out laughing as they made their escape over the waves.
★SimTitle0 reached for the slippery, slime-covered barnacles. As she closed her hand around them she nearly slipped off of the boat, but deftly saved herself and escaped falling overboard.
★SimTitle0 quickly and easily grabbed the waxy barnacles, but immediately regretted the decision. They will certainly do the job, but their sticky, warm feeling is just plain appalling.
★The crafty SimTitle0 was able to get most of the dish on the floor of the tent, but her thrashing left her feeling a bit woozy.
★Straight down the hatch and right into the stomach. SimTitle0 felt a rush of adrenaline surge through her followed immediately by gut wrenching convulsions.
★SimTitle0 was able to pocket most of the food on her plate. She felt a stirring of pride for her shiftiness followed immediately by a strong sense of guilt.
★Oh Watcher! That dish was disgusting. A few gags were unavoidable. SimTitle0 swallowed them down like a champ. It left her feeling a terrible taste in her mouth, but also will surprisingly fresh breath! Who would have guessed?
★In a flash, SimTitle0 was running off of the boat, red panties flashing victoriously in the air!
★In a flash, SimTitle0 was exiting the ship, nasty grey skivies in hand.
★As SimFirstName0 turned to run, the bear raked its massive claws along her arm.Screaming in pain, SimFirstName0 ran faster than she ever had before and barely managed to get away alive.
★Quickly whipping out her lute, SimFirstName0 started to play like she'd never played before! The bear looked at her quizzically. It appeared to be working! Not even an angry bear could resist her raw musical talent!But SimFirstName0's confidence was short-lived. The bear charged and bit a massive chunk out of her arm.Screaming in pain, SimFirstName0 ran faster than she ever had before and barely managed to get away alive.
★SimTitle0 launched herself at the giant, slashing at it with icicles that had magically appeared in her hands. The bear reared up for a devastating attack and SimFirstName0 drove the icicles deep into the bear's exposed belly. With a terrible hissing rush, the bear was transformed into ice and, as a lone ray of sunshine broke through the forest canopy to land on the frozen bear, it exploded in a burst of slush and fur. SimFirstName0 felt her apprehension and fear melt away. Nothing could hold her back now.
★The bear stopped its roaring and sat down next to SimFirstName0. It spoke in a voice which seemed to come both from the bear and from inside the bard herself."I have been waiting a long time for you, Bard. You are destined for great things, but you must embrace your potential. Strike down your fear, and you will become more powerful than you could ever have imagined." The bear faded away, and SimFirstName0 slowly became aware that she was actually sitting in a puddle of mud next to a confused squirrel.
★In spite of a distinct lack of training, SimTitle0 jumped into action, fighting valiantly against the monster.Unfortunately, her skill did not match her bravery and a minor wound was sustained when she was struck in the head by the shaft of her own poorly-wielded harpoon.The whale managed to damage the ship enough that it necessitated a return to port for repairs.
★Throughout the ordeal, SimTitle0 ran around in a state of utter panic arguably causing more trouble than the whale itself.She managed to knock the best harpooner overboard and the whale was able to cause significant damage to the ship before it was driven away. The ship, unable to complete its voyage, was forced to return to port for repairs.
★The screaming priest ran off into the distance, the echoes of his terrified cries lingering long after he was out of sight. Nothing ever followed behind him. However, SimTitle0 DID notice that the priest had dropped a small satchel during his frantic escape from nothing. Inside the satchel were a journal and a few coins!
★The priest ran up to SimTitle0, barely able to catch his breath."A demon! An orange demon! It attacked me while I meditated just outside a small cave near here. I thought the strange color must be a sign from the Watcher, but then I really saw the demon and ran for my life!"The terrified priest grabbed onto SimTitle0's shoulders and pulled her closer. "Whatever you do, stay away from that cave! You will know you're too close if you see a graveyard with large mushrooms growing in it."
★Just as SimTitle0 pushed the Prophet's Disciple aside, a monstrous boar leapt from the brush, froth dripping from saber-like tusks and beady eyes sparkling with violence.SimTitle0 took the full brunt of the charge and felt a searing pain in her side before she could bring her sword to bear. With a reflexive strike, SimTitle0 impaled the frenzied beast, who fell still to the earth.The Disciple could only draw ragged, terrified breaths as SimTitle0 lead the way back to the safety of TownName.
★The Prophet's Disciple bent down, cooing softly at the ruckus, when a great brown shape charged from the bush, knocking the disciple to the ground in a cry of pain.Reacting quickly, SimTitle0 drew cold metal and swung at the dire boar as it prepared to bring its massive tusks to bear on the prone figure.The blade bit deeply into the beast's muscled haunch. With a blood-curdling squeal, the boar turned its beady gaze on its attacker before quickly retreating into the brush.SimTitle0 helped the injured disciple up and half-carried the stumbling figure out of the forest.
★Proxy Candidate Orville sighed with relief. "Thanks, SimTitle0. I'll do my best to remember all of it properly."SimFirstName0 crossed her fingers. The Proxy vote was coming up soon; Orville just had to get through the next few hours...
★Proxy Candidate Orville sighed with relief. "Thanks, SimTitle0. It's such a relief knowing that I can just burp, belch, and fart in front of those priests if I need to. You know how intimidating they can be."As Orville left, SimFirstName0 crossed her fingers. The Proxy vote was coming up soon; Orville just had to get through the next few hours...
★As SimTitle0 charged towards him Bobaskopop swelled with fury, outraged at anything that would disrupt his meal. After colliding with the beast, everything went black...
★After a fierce struggle with the massive boar, SimTitle0 managed to plunge a sword through its belly, vanquishing the beast once and for all. She lopped off its head and took the gory prize as a souvenir!
★SimTitle0 managed to escape before Bobaskopop noticed her presence in the cave. She reminded herself that discretion was the better part of valor.
★Clamoring quickly atop the mountain of gold, SimTitle0 snatched the beautiful sapphire and pocketed it. Waking for a brief moment, SimTitle0 quickly fell back asleep and forgot the strange dream.
★As SimTitle0 climbed towards the peak of the treasure mound, a blazing fireball engulfed her and everything went black.
★SimTitle0 ducked behind a gem-studded throne and scooped up the large ruby. The sounds of heavy dragon breathing faded away as SimTitle0 escaped with the treasure.
★SimTitle0 noticed the dragon waking from its slumber. It slowly reared its scaly head to inspect its surroundings. Terrified, SimTitle0 escaped without any treasure, waking from the strange dream with a jolt.
★The robed woman said, "Your lifeline is long, SimTitle0. I foresee great pleasure in your near future, and great wealth as well. Remember, water is your patron and earth is your ally."
★The robed woman said, "Your head and heart lines are crossed, which means terrible danger dwells at your doorstep and demons will haunt your dreams. Wealth will appear before you in disguise, but then be quickly snatched away. Travel with caution."
★The robed woman said, "SimTitle0, listen carefully. You will soon receive a great windfall that does not belong to you. You must seize it, or your relationships will suffer and friends will vanish."
★The robed woman said, "You will soon receive recognition from someone important, and your relationship will blossom."
★SimFirstName0 looked back at the hole as she walked away. It lay there, black and ominous. Walking away was probably a good idea.
★SimFirstName0 looked back at the hole as she walked away. What wonders might have been found in its unknown depths?For the rest of the day, she couldn't shake the feeling of a missed opportunity.
★SimFirstName0 jammed her hand into the hole and groped around carelessly. She felt something cool and jagged. That was unexpected. Carefully, SimFirstName0 pulled up a strange shard of metal. It was covered in dirt, yet holding it filled SimFirstName0 with a feeling of strength and comfort.
★SimFirstName0 slid her hand into the hole and carefully felt around. Suddenly a stinging pain shot up her arm and something latched onto her! Luckily, as SimFirstName0 wrenched her arm back out of the hole, the mysterious aggressor let go.
★SimFirstName0 stuck her hand into the hole. It reminded her of a magic trick. "Nothing up my sleeve," she muttered, "annnnd -- Presto!" SimTitle0 emerged from the hole grasping a large bunny.A few flicks from her knife and it was ready for the stew pot.
★SimFirstName0 stuck her hand into the hole. At first she felt only dirt, but then her fingers curled around something that might have been a handle! Grabbing hold and pulling with all her might, SimFirstName0 slowly extracted a long, thin box covered in muck. Breaking it open, she was thrilled to discover a sword lying on a bed of gold coins!
★The northern waters were extremely choppy for the whole voyage, and even hardened sailors found themselves coming down with seasickness.
★The currents proved favorable and the crew was envigorated by crisp northern air.
★The voyage was haunted by muggy tropical rains. Most of the crew ended up damp and misrable.
★The tropical eastern weather was warm and dry, perfect for pirating or working on your tan.
★Fishing was terrible. All you got was one dull fish.
★Fishing was excellent! You collected several tasty specimens
★The dull calculations were an interesting itellectual exercise, but you didn't learn much more than you already knew.
★Most intriguing! You've learned a lot about ocean navigation on this voyage, and even discovered a previously uncharted current.
★The crew appreciated your hard work, but the blisters you got will smart for some time.
★Your hours of scrubbing proved valuable when the merchant ship attacked. Confident in their footing, your crew was able to fight the attackers off the boat. Several grateful crew members saw that some extra simoles found their way into your pockets.
★The crew appreciated your hard work, but the blisters you got will smart for some time.
★Strengthening the rigging made the ship much faster and more manuverable for your raids.
★The rival ship saw you in time, and managed to turn its cannons toward you. You exchanged cannon fire, enduring a few minor injuries before deciding discretion was the better part of valor.
★The attack was a success and the rival crew surrendered quickly. They didn't have much loot, but the captain did turn over a rather valuable sword.
★Unfortunately, the other crew also saw you and also decided to charge. By the time your crew realized what had happened, it was all you could do to avoid a head-on collision. Let's pretend that didn't happen.
★You came upon the rival ship so fast that their crew was barely sounding general quarters when you started boarding it. The battle was over quickly, and you gained a tidy profit.
★The coastal areas were teeming with well armed patrols looking out for pirates. It took a lot of extra effort to stay out of range of their cannons.
★Several small villages proved more than eager to *ahem* hire your crew for protection against those menacing pirates.
★The big trade ships must have been on holiday, because the seas were devoid of travelers. So boring...
★A trade vessel carrying a stock of azurite easily fell to your attacks. There's always a market for this stuff!
★As soon as you released the prisoners, one of them decided to fight back and gave you a minor injury in the process. To the plank with him!
★Inspecting the prisoners, you saw a bauble the nobleman had hidden from you. Seeing your displeasure, he hastily offered it up in exchange for his life. Bonus!
★Your cannon knocked a hole in the side of the yacht's hull, but you saw several expensive looking trinkets stumble out into the sea. Drat! You must have hit a secret compartment.
★A well-placed cannon shot to the yacht's hull and you continued with your voyage.
★SimTitle0 took a swig from the mug of Luffenting Ale that sat in front of her."My Watcher! What a drink! What flavor!"Soon, the table was littered with empty mugs. And the night was still young...
★The bartender poured a small tumbler of Luffenting Wine for SimTitle0 and gave her a wink.SimFirstName0 took a sip and was immediately overwhelmed by the flavor. She quickly ordered another and savored the taste.This was, to put it simply, magnificent.
★As the dishes were laid out, SimTitle0's mouth began to water. What an array of soups, meats, and fish! There was one stew in particular that SimFirstName0 had her eye on and she eagerly waited for it to be passed down the table. As the first spoonful touched her lips, SimFirstName0's eyes widened. This stew was... superb!
★Trumpets blared and the crowd roared. The tournament was underway and it seemed like half of Smortlee was there. As the swordfights began, SimTitle0 sat forward in her seat. What a glorious spectacle! TownName should have one of these someday. For now, SimFirstName0 simply sat back and took it all in.
★That stain will never come out. SimTitle0 left the tent feeling one part amusement, one part embarrassment for her foul deed.
★It worked! Amazing results! The clothing is smooth as silk. The hard, grueling work left SimTitle0 with an achy back, but also with the satisfaction of a job well done.
★SimTitle0 left the tent feeling a little scared and little excited for the Guildman's reaction. Hopefully he appreciates a good joke.
★Each piece of metal shone brightly with reflected light. SimTitle0 left the tent with a supreme sense of tranquility. Performing such a base task was a very humbling experience.
★It took a little bit of creative convincing, but the villagers eventually believed that the pirates were physically bullied out of the harbor.
★The yarn about out-smarted pirates was an easy story to sell. Not many people doubted the ability of the Guild Consortium to out think and out manuever the pirate fleet.
★As SimFirstName0 reached into the bush, a tiny but horrifying beast jumped directly onto her neck! A vicious struggle ensued, and SimTitle0 realized with horror that he had disturbed a Dire Chinchilla. This was the worst of all possible results!
★Reaching into the bush, SimFirstName0 grabbed a handful of feathers. She pulled out a squawking, struggling pheasant while two more went running from the other side of the bush. Unfortunately, while grabbing the pheasant, SimFirstName0 sustained several nasty pecks to her hand.
★As SimTitle0 approached the bush, a half-dozen quails exploded out from its branches. SimFirstName0 made a wild grab and actually managed to catch one of the birds by its legs before it could fly away!
★SimFirstName0 flushed out several quail with a few well-aimed stones. Unfortunately, she was too far away to catch any of them before they disappeared deeper into the woods.Luckily no one was around to witness such an epic quail fail.
★A well-placed rock struck the center of the bush and a rabbit bolted out from underneath it. It tried to scurry past SimTitle0's feet, but could not escape the woman's quick hands. A quick flick of the dagger, and the rabbit was SimFirstName0's.
★SimTitle0 broadened her consciousness, hoping to invite the mercurial feeling of inspiration into her mind. Suddenly, a thousand thoughts cascaded down upon SimFirstName0, chasing away the capricious muse and leaving her reeling with too much information.
★Broadening her mental net to catch that fleeting sense of inspiration, SimTitle0 was buffeted by a vast array of images and thoughts.Fighting for control through the onslaught of information, she finally seized the elusive muse and in that moment of pure insight, the mental noise subsided, leaving SimTitle0 triumphantly informed.
★Focusing her thoughts into a razor-sharp beam of inquiry, SimTitle0's mind lanced through the Ether towards the fleeting inspiration. Just as the mental probe was closing in on its target, the intangible muse disintegrated into nothing.Without a target, the beam of thought rebounded back upon SimFirstName0 with dangerous intensity. It flayed the fringes of her mind and spilled over into her defenseless body.
★Narrowing her thoughts, SimTitle0 launched her consciousness after the spectral inspiration. Like a well-aimed arrow the beam of thought struck home and captured the intangible muse. SimFirstName0 was immediately filled with a sense of great wisdom. It spread like warmth through her entire body as incredible realizations began to present themselves. Her gambit had worked.
★SimTitle0 channeled all of her considerable mental energy into a single devastating thought before unleashing the blast into the encroaching Ether.A chorus of terrible screams echoed from the crystal ball, bringing satisfied relief to SimFirstName0 as she felt the vile presence retreat into nothingness.
★SimTitle0 forced her will through the crystal orb toward the unseen foe.However, the weight of the power building within her mind was too much and the counterattack fizzled with a stinging backlash.
★The wall of mental energy crumbled under the sinister onslaught, sending SimTitle0's mind reeling in pain and loss.With a discordant chorus of cackles, the phantasmal presence within the orb retreated in smug victory, while SimFirstName0 was left injured and confused.
★SimTitle0 erected a wall of pure mental resoluteness just as the presence within the orb unleashed its full and malevolent force.Terrible strikes flashed against her consolidated willpower, but were unable to penetrate deeper into SimTitle0's fortified psyche. With a frustrated wail, the apparition retreated in the swirling shadows of the Ether.
★The ingredients popped and fizzed around the signet ring.After a couple minutes, the mixture turned bright red.
★The ingredients popped and fizzed around the signet ring.After a few minutes, the mixture turned a bright shade of blue.
★"Oh, thank you, ma'am!"The child handed SimTitle0 the black parrot, who squawked pitifully and flapped its working wing as it hopped to its new owner's outstretched arm.
★The child's eyes filled with tears and her lower lip trembled slightly.Even SimTitle0 couldn't be that cold. She reached out and the injured black parrot hobbled to her outstretched arm. It feebly tried to flap its wings, but only ended up looking more pathetic than ever."Thank you, m'lady," the child said. "Please, please see that it gets the love it needs."
★As the ship approached, the markings revealed that these Pirates were part of Blood Captain Hadrian Grimm's ilk. Well aware that these Pirates attack everyone, you ordered the ship to turn away just as they opened fire.
★The Pirates of Aarbyville had been on the seas for months and were quite thrilled to meet allies. After exchanging pleasantries and trading some of your extra provisions for simoles, the 'parley' quickly turned into a party, and much drink was shared.
★It was too late. Your ship had been spotted! The rogue pirate ship seemed to chase you around the entire ocean before giving up. The crew was happy to have avoided the conflict, but the effort was exhausting.
★You turned the ship away, cursing the apparent delay. Surprisingly, you discovered a previously uncharted ocean current, gaining time on your voyage. The crew was elated.
★Confidently, your crew boarded the puny ship, but when the crew opened the hold, a squadron of heavily armed mercenaries spilled out and turned the tide of the battle. Magnate Pravos Glint showed himself toward the end of the battle, laughing maniaclly about how dumb you were to fall for the trap. You escaped... barely.
★The Tredonian merchant vessel was only lightly armed, and surrendered quickly. You freed the seas from yet another dishonest capitalist. Nobody will mind that you collected a few... tariffs.
★You turned away from the small trade ship only to discover that a much larger Tredonian war frigate was escorting them. You briefly exchanged fire and managed to escape, but got hit with some shrapnel.
★Part of you lamented the lost potential for... uh... tax revenue... but the crew was content to avoid a conflict. The mission continued apace.
★You dropped anchor in the middle of the wreck to survey the damage, when suddenly a Tredonian war frigate bearing the markings of Magnate Pravos Glint glided out of the fog. It was a trap! Overwhelmed, you had no choice but to flee. Seeing as you weren't his intended Aarbyville target, Glint let you go after a few 'friendly' volleys.
★After several hours of fruitless searching, you found a life boat with a couple of starving survivors. Overjoyed, they presented you with the remaining loot they managed to salvage.
★You continued with the mission, but every crew member at some point either complained that you ignored the potential for survivors... or the potential for loot salvage. They didn't mutiny, but by the end of the voyage you were so annoyed you almost wish they had.
★As you moved away from the wreck, the fog began to lift and exposed a large Tredonian war frigate patroling the wreckage. The wreckage was a trap! Your crew cheered your prudence as you continued with your mission.
★The eggs have been chosen, and they sure do taste great.
★The eggs have been chosen, and they're not too filling!
★Don't Steal
★SimFirstName0 discovered the chest was unlocked and the crewman didn't even stir. It should have been a crime to come out on top so easily!
★SimFirstName0 reached to open the chest and immediately tripped over the large keg of mead, spilling nearly all of its contents onto the sleeping crewman. Thinking quickly, SimFirstName0 grabbed the empty glass, filled it, and began to drink. The crewman was happy to have a drinking partner and the pair drank until the crewman eventually passed out.
★It didn't take long to realize that your crew did not belong in this battle. The monsters largely ignored your crew and pursued each other. Eventually, feeling like the runty wizard kid not picked for the kingball team, you and crew left, dejected. While most people would be rather pleased that an army of monsters didn't want to fight them, you couldn't help feeling disappointed.
★You rallied your crew and charged into the fray! The crew fought well, but unfortunately it became clear that the monsters were in this for the long haul. Your crew simply did not have the supplies to endure the entire battle. Deciding that sufficient glory had been won, you and the crew collected what trophies you could, then returned to your ship. Why the monsters fought would have to be a mystery for another day.
★When the awe-inducing battle finally ended, you sat stunned for several minutes. Glancing down at the mountains of monster bodies strewn about the atoll, you see the apparent victor limply climbing atop the carcass of the Kraken: A lone dire chinchilla. Rearing up on its hind legs, The Victor let out a roaring squeak and was enveloped in lightning. You realized that you'd be spending days pondering this. What in the watcher's name did you just witness?
★Good Monsters! Bad Monsters! Explosions! As far as the eye could see. It was clear that only one would survive, but who that would be was anybody's guess. Hours later, the battle ended in a way too spectacular to comprehend. That. Was. AWESOME! It's clear you'll be reliving this in your head for days to come.
★The small party warily entered the cabin. Searching the room, SimTitle0 spied a strange looking blade hanging above the rotting bunk. As the crew drew wards in the air, SimFirstName0 lifted the razor-sharp weapon from the wall and was engulfed in a choking cloud of dark energy. Launching any and all spells that came to mind, SimFirstName0 stumbled blindly back across the gangplank, cursed but alive, as the galley faded away into the mist.
★The small party warily entered the cabin. Searching the room, a sailor discovered a small chest at the foot of the rotting bunk. Without pause, he opened the lid and was stuck a half dozen times with darts before crumpling motionless to the floor. The rest of the party scrambled from the cabin and back aboard their ship, leaving behind the fallen sailor, but managing to recover the deadly chest and the hard-earned coins inside.
★The dank hold of the rotting ship was filled with chests. SimTitle0 carefully opened the lid of a large chest near the door, revealing a lone blade of dark metal. As she lifted out the edge, a horrible keening filled the hold and all went dark. SimTitle0 awoke back on her own ship in a world of pain, still clutching the cursed treasure. The mysterious galley was nowhere to be seen.
★The dank hold of the rotting ship was filled with chests. An eager member of the crew broke a rusty padlock to reveal a pile of glittering jewels. Abruptly, a band of spectral figures closed in on SimTitle0's crew, who fled back to their ship. As soon as all were aboard, the galley faded back into the mists, and only a handful of gems proved the encounter had ever occurred.
★Gleefully, your ordinance officer explained what was about to happen. "We're ready, check it out: This is the ultimate boom! State of the boom-boom art! Fry half a city with these puppies!" Sure enough, the explosion of the ghost ship was downright apocalyptic in proportions. Suddenly you understood what that crazy fool was so excited about! Cackling maniacally, you set sail again, hoping for another opportunity to blow a hole in the ocean.
★The barrage was staggering, but most of the ordinance was so powerful it went either through or over the ghost ship, doing little damage. The ghosts began to pursue your ship. While your first mate devolved into hysterics, shouting, "That's it, man. Voyage over, man. Voyage over!", you turned the ship around and got out of the fog as quickly as possible.
★On boarding the ship, you were approached by a surprisingly frumpy looking ghost. "I'M THE GATEMASTER!" the ghost needlessly shouted. You tried to ignore him and searched the ship with the odd ghost following you around, ranting about Vuldrini and Slors or something... Ultimately, you found a few baubles and what appeared to be a treasure map! As you left, the ghost lamented, "Aw, don't leave yet. Maybe if we start dancing other people will join in!" How strange.
★After boarding the ghost ship, the ethereal captain glided up to you and your first mate and grimly asked, "Are you the watcher?" "Um... No?" your first mate replied. This did not go over well with the ghost crew. In fact, they hurled lightning and slime at you. Slimy Lightning. While high-tailing it back to your ship, you yelled at your first mate, "If some asks you if you're the watcher, you say YES!" Good advice, really.
★Fighting was... a mistake. The Jacob's Sword soldiers were better trained and better armed, and while the ship didn't sustain much damage, the same could not be said for SimTitle0.Sustaining pretty nasty wounds to their bodies (and pride), SimFirstName0's crew retreated and sailed off with their tails between their collective legs.
★After a long, hard fight, SimTitle0 emerged slightly injured but victorious. The Jacobans fled back to their ship, where the crew took the fight to them.A moment later, they returned with some money and a peace offering from the Jacobans, who realized they had been beaten.
★SimTitle0 handed over the forced donation and let the Jacobans look through the cargo hold. Satisfied with the payment, they returned to their ship and sailed off.Ashamed and crestfallen, SimFirstName0 and the crew continued their voyage.
★The Jacobans came on board, did their conversions, and left peacefully. When a few of the crew members protested during the boarding, they were quickly silenced with a stern look and a half-unsheathed sword.
★The Jacobans did not take kindly to the suggestion that they simply leave.A few of their best swordsman boarded the ship anyway and demanded to speak to SimTitle0. With a quick swipe of their swords, they gave her a painful reminder of the refusal she had given them.
★The sea's surface turned into a foaming, frothing nightmare as the crazed crew hurled everything they had at the poor creature. But alas, it somehow managed to escape the onslaught as if by magic. So disappointing. Truly, the Watcher must have protected this one!
★The sea's calm surface exploded with the cruel impact of dozens of harpoons and arrows hurled by the hungry crew. In the end it was hard to tell what the poor creature was, but added to a cooking pot with some turtle meat and spice, it was delicious! There was even some to spare!
★Before SimFirstName0 could even speak, the greedy crew members flung their gnarled fishing nets at the magical creature, but it gracefully swooped out of the way. With a cheeky wave of its scaled tail, the mermaid bade SimTitle0's ship farewell and plunged beneath the safety of the waves, enraging the already weary crew. SimFirstName0 was furious at the men and forbade their grog rations for the rest of the trip.
★SimFirstName0 lured the mysterious creature towards the ship with a charming old sea shanty she'd heard as a child. As the crew looked on slack-jawed, the beautiful mermaid shook her sparkling hair, and loosed some precious stones. With a quick flick of her tail she showered the men with gifts from the sea and then vanished beneath the waves. The crew was elated!
★The Aarbyville crew must have spotted you too, because they almost immediately adjusted their heading. You gave chase diligently for several hours, but their speed was simply too great. As they had by now moved well beyond TownName waters, you finally decided to give up. Unfortunately, the chase was not without injury.
★The Aarbyville lookout must have been drunk at his post, because they didn't adjust their course until you had almost overtaken them. Since they were obviously outmatched, they surrendered without more than a few cursory warning shots. After you and your crew helped yourselves to a tidy tariff and a few choice bits of loot, you sardonically bid them welcome to TownName waters and sent them on their way.
★A short time later, your lookout came rappelling down out of the crow's nest to report that the clipper was following you! More disturbingly, they appeared to be relaying lantern signals to someone else. There were other pirate ships out there and you were being targeted! Sure enough, a small fleet began to become visible on the horizon. You ordered all available crew to the oars to increase speed, including yourself. The flight was long and tiring, but eventually the pirates broke off pursuit.
★Reluctantly, you ignored the pirates and carried on your mission. The decision was the right one but it still rankled that the pirates were so brazenly entering TownName waters. The first mate, sensing your displeasure, handed over his flask and reminded you, "We can't chase 'em all."
★Even amongst the Tredonians, the name of Magnate Parvos Glint is feared and considered best avoided. Who would have expected to find him in the middle of nowhere? Standing on your deck with his cadre of well-armed mercenaries, he made it clear that his reputation was well deserved. "I have no quarrel with TownName, indeed I like you folks... for entertainment! Dance, fool!" He eventually let you go, but that was humiliating.
★The Tredonian captain was delighted to find allies out in the middle of the ocean. They had spent days fighting off ships belonging to that dastardly Aarbyvillian Pirate, Blood Captain Hadrian Grimm. The captain proposed that your ships travel the remainder of the voyage together as two ships would make a less appealing target. In return, she offered some choice items from their hold.
★The crow's nest lookout reported that the Tredonian vessel was moving rapidly away from the direction you were heading towards. Too rapidly. You suspected that there were Aarbyville pirates in the area. Deciding on caution, you ordered a course change around the suspect seas. It cost you some time, but nothing else.
★You carried on your mission, but the Tredonian vessel oddly stayed within sight of the crow's nest for much of the voyage. Eventually they got close enough to relay via lantern signals that there were Pirates in the area and that they were following you to discourage attacks on either vessel. It is good to have friends watching your back.
★SimTitle0 vanquished 35 enemy soldiers.
★ SimTitle0 addressed the cheering crowd, who listened with rapt attention. Every request she made was catered to as they made their way towards the shining gates to paradise. However, as they drew nearer, the crowd shrunk and the world around SimFirstName0 seemed a little less vibrant. Steps away from utopia, SimFirstName0 fell to the hard ground as the crowd completely disappeared and the world dissolved into a gray void.
★SimTitle0 waded through the jubilant throng of familiar faces with purpose. Keenly aware of the dream, she began to bend the reverie to her every whim. At first the scene flowed like water in SimFirstName0's mind, but soon tiny fissures appeared in the dream's foundation. Cheering faces turned to grotesque leers and the vision of paradise was suddenly engulfed in a sickening blaze. Scrambling backwards toward reality, SimFirstName0 felt the sting of unseen claws before awaking in a cold sweat.
★SimTitle0 joined the cheering crowd of familiar faces and was carried steadily towards the vision of paradise. Before SimFirstName0 knew it, bliss surrounded her like a warm, secure blanket. A hundred beautiful scenes, each filled with a thousand precious moments, paraded across her senses. Within every second, a lifetime was lived in joy and cheer, each iteration greater than the last.
★As SimTitle0 walked amongst the blissful crowd, smiling and laughing along with them towards the vision of paradise, the scene at the end of the golden path began to fade. The throng surged forward as the scene dimmed, but the faster they charged the quicker the world darkened around SimFirstName0 until she was left in nothing but a gray limbo.
★With a burst of motion, SimTitle0 leapt from the bed and gave chase to the dark silhouette, now running from the chamber. Before the figure escaped into the murky night, SimFirstName0 dove at them and caught nothing but air, impacting hard with the floor. Shaking her head and realizing how foolish the moment of bravery had been, SimFirstName0 silently rebuked herself.
★With a burst of motion, SimTitle0 leapt from the bed and gave chase to the dark silhouette, now running from the chamber. Before the figure escaped into the murky night, SimTitle0 dove with arms outstretched, catching hold of cloth. A moment later, when the air had returned to her lungs and the intruder was nowhere in sight, she looked down to find only a torn shirt clutched in her grasp.
★Swiftly rolling behind her bed, SimTitle0 hid from the unknown person rustling about the chamber. After a few moments, she peered cautiously about the dark room noting that everything seemed to be intact. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for her nerves, as it took a long while for SimFirstName0 to return to sleep.
★SimTitle0 cautiously slipped behind her bed, hoping the figure did not notice the movement. A few silent moments passed before the rustling continued, making its way to the next room, then fading with the squealing hinges of the front door. A quick survey of her home under the flickering light of a torch revealed a few missing coins.
★The song was funny and bawdy... too bawdy. Over the course of the song, your mind stopped paying attention to the jokes and more to the goofy romance of the story. You woke up feeling the need for some romantic companionship.
★Sure enough, the song proved hilarious. You don't remember most of the lyrics, but the chorus was bawdy and ridiculous. Something about woohoo in a box... You woke up giggling and considerably more upbeat.
★Oddly enough, rather than focus on a single song, multiple additional themes intruded into your dream. One would think a dream featuring woohoo, pirates, cute scribes, highwaymen, and chocolate would be fun... but in practice it just got confusing. Perhaps you shouldn't have eaten that extra serving of gruel yesterday?
★The adventure song was lively, though it seemed to confuse multiple famous tales. Perhaps Moltin had had a bit too much to drink? No matter! The song was rousing and enthusiastic. You'll be humming the tune for days.
★SimTitle0 buried her fear and turned to face the encroaching nightmares. Shouting in defiance she struck at the inky phantasms, but to no effect. Their dark claws and fangs slashed painfully from every direction. Heaving with terror, SimFirstName0 was overpowered and drawn down into anguish, only to awake shaking and covered with sweat.It would be several minutes before she could fall back into a light sleep.
★Swallowing her fear, SimTitle0 bravely stood before the encroaching apparitions and yelled in defiance. As dark claws slashed out at her, SimFirstName0 managed to dance away and countered with renewed vigor and hope. Suddenly the nightmares began to melt back into the shadows, awed by the display of courage, until nothing stood before the victorious dreamer.Deep down SimFirstName0 knew that she was really still lying asleep somewhere, but no matter. Within the context of the dream, the victory was very real.
★SimTitle0 turned quickly and ran away from the horrors, who surged forward with renewed bloodlust. The murky landscape around the bed became a sheer cliff, stopping SimFirstName0 in her tracks. As the inevitable, fatal blow stuck her from behind and she began to fall, SimFirstName0 awoke with a shrill cry of fear.It would be several minutes before she fell back into a light sleep.
★SimTitle0 turned quickly and ran away, ducking and dodging through an inky landscape, never once looking back at the horrors in pursuit. Turning a corner, she saw dim light spilling from a portal. As she approached, it became a doorway to the bed chamber. Putting on speed, SimFirstName0 dove through the portal and suddenly awoke in bed, shaken but safe.With a sigh, she returned to sleep.
★Sleep_Null_1_1_Result: Should not be seen
★Sleep_Null_1_2_Result: Should not be seen
★Sleep_Null_2_1_Result: Should not be seen
★Sleep_Null_2_2_Result: Should not be seen
★SimTitle0 steadied her breathing as the sound drew closer. Even with eyes squeezed shut, she was keenly aware of a presence hovering about her prone form. With a sudden, soft rustle, the presence was gone and a lump materialized beneath SimFirstName0's pillow.
★SimTitle0 steadied her breathing as the sound drew closer. Even with eyes squeezed shut, she was keenly aware of a presence hovering about her prone form. With a sudden, soft rustle, the presence was gone and a lump materialized beneath SimFirstName0's pillow.
★SimTitle0 dared to sneak one eye open, just a crack. In the far corner a small shimmering creature hovered, glaring balefully at her. It was holding something that resembled a tooth.With an irritated Tsk! and a flap of glittery wings, the intruder' was gone in a flash. Alas, it was but a dream within a dream!
★Peering through one barely opened eyelid, SimTitle0 frantically searched for the source of the noise in the chamber. However, beyond her shallow breathing, the room was dark, still and quiet. It took many moments before SimFirstName0 could calm herself enough to return to a fitful slumber.
★SimTitle0 dashed into the center of the crowd, shielding the girl from the projectiles. She reared up and addressed the crowd:"People of TownName! Fair skin and pointed ears do not a beast make! Does she not breathe the same air as we do? Eat the same food? The only different twixt you and her is YOUR absence of conscience!"The crowd slowly dispersed, not with love for the girl, but with uncertainty in their hearts. The girl picked herself up and said, "Thank you. I am princess Elianne of the hidden realm of the elves: Effenmont. Take this map. It will reveal to you the location of our home."The Princess then ran off, never explaining why she was there at all.
★SimTitle0 dashed into the center of the crowd, shielding the girl from the projectiles. She reared up and addressed the crowd:"People of TownName! Stop it! This is...mean!"Not only was she called an Elf-Lover, but she also got pelted with potatoes until unconscious.Some time later, SimFirstName0 awoke alone in a pile of produce, bludgeoned and bruised all over. Apparently somebody had even gotten a few kicks in. But hey: free potatoes.
★SimTitle0 struggled with her conscience for a moment then gulped dryly and dispelled any thoughts of playing moral heroine from her mind. Stooping and covering her face, SimFirstName0 blended into the crowd and pushed her way blindly through the surging mob. Go with the flow, she lied to herself.
★SimTitle0 dashed into the fray with a cry of "Halt, thieves!" Fortunately, the muggers didn't even see SimFirstName0 coming, so a well-timed tackle was able to fell them both in an instant. The thankful mother mumbled some shaken thanks and fled off with her child into the streets.
★SimFirstName0 charged to the defense of the mother with a cry of "Halt! Thieves!"Unfortunately, in the confusion of the crowd, SimFirstName0 was unaware of the other brigands all around her. In moments, SimFirstName0 found herself on the ground, having been pounded several times with heavy clubs. Ouch.
★SimTitle0 rushed in, screaming "Let's get her, guys!"The frail mother hardly had a chance to resist. With the help of a quick kick to the woman's leg, the bag was in SimFirstName0's hands in seconds. The bandits thanked SimTitle0 for her help and decided to split the spoils: a gigantic sack of grassweed!
★SimTitle0 rushed in, screaming "Let's get her, guys!"It would have been quite a trouncing, had a half-dozen guards not showed up. As much as SimFirstName0 fought, she could not overpower so many well-trained soldiers simultaneously. She found himself, mere minutes later, battered and bruised.
★SimTitle0 slapped the gold Simoles on the gambler's makeshift table.The toothless con-man held up the pearl, gave a derisive cackle, and cupped it swiftly under one of his shells. The shells moved swiftly, but their speed could not match SimFirstName0's eyes.The gambler sighed as SimFirstName0 identified the correct shell and walked off with double her gold!
★SimTitle0 slapped the gold Simoles on the gambler's makeshift table.The toothless con-man held up the pearl, gave a derisive cackle, and cupped it swiftly under one of his shells. The shells moved swiftly. Far too swiftly, in fact, for SimFirstName0 to have a fighting chance.The gambler cackled as SimFirstName0 walked off with a somewhat lighter purse.
★SimTitle0 declined the offer of the toothless con-man and opted to walk off into the crowd."Get her, Priscilla! Nobody turns down Crazy Lester!"SimFirstName0 turned to see the man's boar charging her down, with no time at all to avoid the creature's attack. By the time SimFirstName0 managed to pick herself up off the ground, both man and beast had vanished.
★SimTitle0 declined the offer of the toothless con-man and opted to walk off into the crowd."Get her, Priscilla! Nobody turns down Crazy Lester!"SimFirstName0 turned to see the man's boar charging her down! Fortunately, a quick juke at the last minute sent the boar hurtling into a crate of Tredonian figs. Lester, eyes wide and fearing retribution, tossed SimFirstName0 his purse and dashed off into the crowd.
★You woke up several hours later on the floor of a tannery on the other side of the village. As you massaged your aching head, you discovered that you were wearing what appeared to be the constable's boot like a hat. Inside the boot was stuffed a notarized royal proclamation declaring that the local Jacoban priest had married the local Peteran priest. You couldn't remember anything, but obviously the party got a little out of hand.
★The pirates welcomed you with open arms, but not as much as the barkeep did. The addition of a well known pillar of the community gave him hope that his bar would survive the party. He was generous with the food and drink while you entertained the pirates with local gossip. This only endeared the pirates to you both, and they proved very loose with their coin. You had a blast, and the barkeep was so pleased, he even tore up your tab.
★The pirates drank... and drank... and drank... You and the barkeep had to work frantically to stop the party from descending into abject chaos. Twice you had to talk the constable into not arresting the entire party. By the time the last pirate passed out, you were exhausted and had nothing to show for it.
★Shelling out a few simoles went a long way. The Pirates got obnoxiously drunk. A lot of sincere 'I love you, man' oaths were directed your way as the party progressed. By the end, they were competing to boast of their spoils to you. A few well timed comments of 'Really? No way! I don't believe you!' Resulted in several odd bits of loot being given to you as proof.
★The exchange went as planned and the deal was as good as promised. Unfortunately, after you made the transaction, a maniacal looking Tredonian showed up and started yelling at you: "Thief! THIEF!!" You fled with the goods, but felt a little guilty about it.
★You forked over the simoles and were rewarded with a surprisingly large bag of disorganized but useful goods. What a deal!
★As the Aarbyville Trader started rummaging for something to show you, a well armed but clearly drunk Tredonian looking for a brawl ran up and attacked him. You tried to get out of the way, but still took a few blows before you got out of the melee.
★The trader reluctantly handed over a couple samples, but almost immediately, a Tredonian merchant came running into the alley, pointed at the trader and shouted, "Over here, constable! That no good Pirate is in the alley!" The trader grabed his pack and took off, with the Tredonian and Constable in hot pursuit. Left standing there alone, you quietly pocketed the samples and went back to your business.
★SimTitle0 pulled out a simole and flipped it into the poor beggar's humble cup. With a glint in his eye, he bit the golden coin with his yellowed teeth and nodded to SimFirstName0. Thank you. May the Watcher bless you someday, he whispered. SimFirstName0 looked around, then shrugged her shoulders and continued on, feeling slightly better herself.
★SimTitle0 pulled out a simole and flipped it into the poor beggar's humble cup. With a glint in his eye, he bit the golden coin with his yellowed teeth and nodded to SimFirstName0. Then, in an instant, he vanished into a puff of blue, sparkling smoke.An ethereal, melodious voice called out in the air, Blessed are those who show kindness to children of the Watcher.
★SimTitle0 shoved the poor beggar backwards as she swaggered forwards. Make way! she demanded and strode on. In a flash, the old beggar nimbly jumped up on his toes and pointed a crooked finger at SimTitle0. The Watcher is everywhere! he exclaimed, and then vanished in a puff of gray, fetid smoke. SimFirstName0 felt a cold wave of fear constrict and tighten around her spine. she dashed off in a panic through the crowd, unsure what had just happened.
★SimTitle0 shoved the poor beggar backwards as she swaggered forwards. Make way! she demanded and strode on. The beggar righted himself, dusted off his grubby coat, and flashed a defiant yellow smile. He pointed his crooked finger at SimTitle0 and wheezed, I've got my eye on you!
★ No thanks, announced SimTitle0 with a haughty wave of her hand, I don't eat herbs. SimFirstName0 spun on her heel and with head held high, strode off through the village, a glowing example of moral fortitude in an age of wantonness.
★Without even slightly acknowledging the existence of the colorful stranger, SimTitle0 kept walking steadfastly on her mission, immune to the distractions and interruptions of everyday people and normal life.
★SimTitle0 looked around nervously before wolfing down the herb sprig in one gulp, thanked the colorful minstrel, and continued on with her shopping.Soon thereafter, she felt a dryness in her mouth, quickly followed by overwhelming nausea. Damn those miserable minstrels! she cursed as she retched up the stinking herbs.SimTitle0 stormed back to their camp to exact revenge. But alas, they had already made off with her gold simoles, no doubt laughing down the road to their infernal fiddle music!
★SimTitle0 looked around nervously before wolfing down the herb sprig in one gulp, thanked the colorful minstrel, and continued on with her shopping.Soon thereafter, she felt a warm and invigorating wave of freshness tickling her entire body from the inside out. Feeling carefree, SimFirstName0 smiled happily at each person she saw in the village.
★ Yeah right, sneered SimTitle0 at the old woman, brusquely brushing her aside as she stormed off into the village. The Watcher is always among us! hissed the wrinkled old crone defiantly.
★ No thanks, said SimTitle0 firmly but politely. I'm too busy for fortunes right now . The old woman stared back silently as SimTitle0 nervously pushed her way through the packed street, occasionally glancing back at the mysterious creepy woman until she was swallowed by the crowd.
★SimTitle0 ducked into the tent where the old woman sat and peered into the crystal ball, caressing the globe with her gnarled old hands. SimTitle0 looked into the crystal, seeing nothing but shifting light. The future appears& wait a minute& wait a minute& I see you coming into great& pain, she whispered in the candlelight. Beware the temptation of the easy Simole. SimTitle0 covered her face with the palm of her hand in shame, and then recovering her composure, nodded to the old woman and solemnly left the sad tent, unsure what would come next.
★SimTitle0 ducked into the tent where the old woman sat and peered into the crystal ball, caressing the globe with her gnarled old hands. SimTitle0 looked into the crystal seeing nothing but shifting light. The future appears& wait a minute& wait a minute& I see you coming into a GREAT FORTUNE in the very near future! the old crone crackled. Fortune favors the bold. SimTitle0 smiled a sigh of relief, thanked the old woman and walked out with a spring in her step.
★SimTitle0 smirked at the murderous gang and quipped, Hoods with hoods eh? Not very original! Then she spun on one heel and ran for her life. The extra two seconds it took the dumbfounded gang to process the joke allowed SimFirstName0 to escape without a scratch!
★Time was running out for SimFirstName0. The walls closed in and the sparkling blades danced closer. Her mind raced, struggling to find the perfect distraction. Finally, she blurted out, Look out, behind you! By the time the dull fools had turned back around, SimTitle0 was long gone.
★SimTitle0 tried to talk some sense into the rogues, but her wise words were met only by hopeless, uncaring stares. Hopeless, uncaring stares and a furious sucker punch to the gut. SimFirstName0 managed to escape after a violent scuffle, but her body bore the bruises of the encounter.
★As SimTitle0 lectured the thugs, they slowly sheathed their crooked blades and, looking sheepishly towards one another, began to nod their heads and cry. Their leader stepped forward and thanked SimTitle0 for teaching them the value of self-respect. Each wretch hugged SimFirstName0 in turn and left a small token of his appreciation.
★SimTitle0 discreetly exchanged simoles with the half-pint hominid when all of a sudden, a crowd of angry villagers gathered with sharp sticks. Thieves! Lute looters! There they are! GET EM! they yelled. SimFirstName0 ran for her life, losing both lute and simoles in the scuffle. But I'm innocent! she protested in vain as the mob chased her through the streets.
★SimTitle0 discreetly exchanged simoles with the grubby little halfling, who quickly disappeared. SimFirstName0 looked the lute over and was amazed at the fine condition of the instrument. A wide grin of satisfaction spread over her face as she walked off, feeling like a street-wise, gold-simole-pinching wheeler-dealer.
★SimTitle0 obligingly looked over the lute and then gently handed it back to the homely half-pint. Why not play this beautiful little lute in the square and earn some money, eh? she counseled. The grubby little hobbie stared back grimly, then grunted its disapproval. It stuck out its vile little tongue and, after aiming a spiteful glare SimFirstName0's way, scampered off into the dusty village streets.
★A few minutes into your flight, you suddenly found yourself struggling to remain conscious. Sitting on a bench, you passed out. You woke up several hours later sitting on the same bench... but on the other side of the village! Taking stock of yourself, you discovered the parcel missing and your toenails painted. Odd.
★After weaving through several alleys, you made it to the outskirts of town and took a breather. Once you had caught your breath, you opened the parcel. It contained a potion of some sort and nothing more. You waited around for several more moments to see if anything else would happen. Figuring whatever danger there was must have passed, you went on with your business.
★You handed the parcel off to a random street urchin and continued on. A short time later, you discovered the same street kid running around, snatching goods off of merchants' tables. Swarming around him was a scourge of dire chinchillas! The boy seemed to be directing them with the package you gave him, attacking anyone who neared him... including you.
★You dropped the unopened parcel into a nearby refuse heap and went about your business. Sometime later while heading out of town, you heard a large boom and saw a column of smoke lifting to the sky. Could that have been related? Nah...
★You found the shoppe, picked up a caged parrot and went on with your business. A short time later, you noticed the parrot wasn't moving. It was in fact quite dead. Heartbroken, you returned to the shoppe and confronted the clerk. Surprisingly, the clerk asserted that parrot was actually alive. "He's just resting!" the clerk insisted. Nothing you said or did could change the clerk's obstinate denial of reality. Now what are you going to do with a dead parrot?
★Inside, you discovered a clerk snoozing face down on the counter. Next to him was a sign saying, "Free parrots, one per customer, don't bother clerk." Taking a friendly parrot and its whistle, you went back to your other business, new friend flapping along behind you. That was unexpectedly simple.
★Almost as soon as you walked into the shoppe, the clerk walked up and, unprompted, put a parrot and its whistle into your hands. "There you go, have a nice day," she said and turned away. Confused, you stammered, "B-but how did you know I wanted a parrot?"The clerk looked at you blankly. "Are you saying you don't want the parrot? Well, FINE!"The clerk then took the parrot back and threw you out of the shoppe, leaving you rather befuddled.
★The shoppe proved lovely and even had a parrot painted on the sign, but the clerk seemed rather confused by your requests. "Do you have any Black Parrots?" "No." "How about any Macaws? Spix or Sunset will do.""No." "A White Cockatoo perhaps?" "No." "Well what kind of parrots do you have?""None. This is a cheese shoppe... we just use a parrot for our logo," the clerk finally replied. Looking again at the sign, you realized that it clearly stated, 'Macaw's Fine Cheeses'. "Here, have a sample."
★Most people know instinctively that walking into a mob is a bad idea. You did not learn that until today. Why? It is because mobs are, by definition, a group of angry people looking for a fight.
★Being a well known part of the community and a friend to the Tredonians, you were considered a fair moderator. In the end, negotiations proved simple and you learned a little something about 'conflict resolution'.
★Unfortunately, the suddenly employed vagrants proved to be not very efficient. The merchants refused to pay for the shoddy labor, and you lost your investment.
★The scheme worked beautifully. The vagrants were happy for some coin, the merchants were happy to pay your fees to keep their doors open and the mob gave up and went home. You were able to continue your shopping trip, and make a nice little profit.
★SimTitle0 returned from the village shaken, but none the worse for wear.
★My father will not allow me to marry, but I am in love and wish to marry my sweetheart. May I have permission by royal decree?
★Granted
★Denied
★Love conquers all!
★Learn to obey and respect your elders!
★"Thank you, your highness. My sweetheart and I are truly in your debt!"
★"You may have kept a loyal subject in my father, but you have my spite!"
★I request permission to run special... experiments in my cellar. I will need funds for blades and harnesses, and I need soundproofing for the walls. Strong enough to muffle, say, loud screaming.
★Well, that all seems on the level. Here is some gold to get you started. Best of luck to you!
★Yes, um... Why don't you find the constable and detail your plans with him? I'm sure he'll get you all set up, thank you. Next, please!
★Sounds great!
★Riiighht...
★"I knew I could count on you to share a... passion for science."
★"Constable, you say? Yes... Maybe I will have this constable over for dinner soon..."
★Hi, Your Highness. I'm, um, a little short on Gold Simoles this week and I need to buy some groceries. Can I borrow ｧ20?
★Well, the Crown is not really accustomed to loaning cash to random citizens, but anything for my subjects, I guess!
★..."Groceries", huh? "Borrow", huh?
★Sure
★No!
★Hey, thanks! Looks like I'm off to the tavern. Sorry! I mean "market."
★"Come on! I swear I can pay you back in a fortnight!...alright, fine."
★My neighbor's pig broke into my yard and ate my CABBAGES! It's a cabbage disaster. I demand recompense for the two cabbages I lost. Recompense!!
★Fine, here's three Gold Simoles for your cabbages. Happy?
★Dear me, how will the kingdom survive after the loss of two whole cabbages? Get out of here. Solve your own problems.
★Okay
★...Really?
★"I am most happy! The gold may replace my cabbages, but your actions have restored my faith in JUSTICE!!"
★"What?! You -- You're in on it, aren't you?! You want my cabbages! You're ALL after my cabbages!!"
★Your Highness, the work conditions in the fields are deplorable. Your subjects work long, hard days, they are barely compensated, and morale is plummeting. I think we should give the workers a delightful fruit basket to improve morale.
★Everybody loves fruit baskets! If the sight of a shiny, new fruit basket does not bring a smile to your face, then your heart is made of stone, sir. I say yes.
★No, no. If we start pampering these workers now, then we'll never hear the end of it. Better that they think things will never improve -- that way they can resign themselves to the job completely. And that's good for productivity!
★Sounds good!
★No way!
★"Very generous, Your Highness! With this much gold, we can even afford five grapes instead of the standard four!"
★"Of course, my liege. I shall fetch my best announcement whip and inform the workers that toiling is its own reward."
★Your Highness! Merchants report that your primary shipping route has come under attack from a dire whale! We must fund an expedition to find it and destroy it with the Holy Harpoon.
★This cannot be allowed! The whale must be stopped... no matter the cost.
★There are no dire whales, and I will not waste resources chasing down some merchant's silly superstition.
★Destroy the whale!
★Your whale is fail
★"Excellent, my lord! We'll launch as soon as we have the Holy Harpoon blessed by nymphs."
★"Ah. Of course, Majesty. It must have been some other undead sea monster that the merchants merely mistook for a dire whale."
★My liege, some of our younger, more impulsive citizens have taken up a new sport called "dragon taunting." It is very dangerous. How can we discourage them?
★I will not stand for this kind of foolishness in my kingdom. We have enough problems without our children going around poking dragons with sticks! It is banned!
★Hmm, if I appoint somebody to be commissioner of dragon taunting and then charge admission, I bet the kingdom could make some extra gold...
★Outlaw it!
★Regulate it!
★"That's right, we must outlaw the things we don't like! Now that's good Monarching!"
★"You actually want to encourage this? Who would pay to see a daring young man test his skills against the world's most dangerous and fantastic creature?!"
★I regretfully inform you that Crafthole can no longer honor our long-standing alliance with your kingdom.
★But Why?
★We need to be united now more than ever.
★War has diminished our surplus of goods, we have little left to export, and no one to protect our caravans. Please don't take this as a slight against your kingdom, but we must focus on our own people at this time. I'm sorry.
★Explain Yourself!
★You'd better start talking... fast.
★I'm here to articulate for the nation of Ticktop. We felt it prudent to inform you that our borders are hereby closed to all outsiders indefinitely.
★Our populace is peaceful and industrious, with little interest in the drama of international politics. This conflict is just further confirmation that diplomacy is a failed experiment, one we want no part of.
★I come with righteous forewarning: Holy Yacothia begins its divine crusade to cleanse the world of malevolence.
★By divine mandate we can no longer standby while sinners and heathens continue to defy Watcher's will with this war. The world is beyond hope and must be purged. Watcher preserve you, for we will not.
★Your Majesty, despite our alliance with the Pirates, they continue to attack our ships and steal our supplies. We need extra security on our vessels! Won't you please assign some of your guards to protect TownName's sailors?
★Safety first!
★This aggression will not stand!
★Thank you, Majesty, my crew will feel much safer.
★Fend for yourself.
★Do you see a sign outside my throne room that says 'Free Guards for Everyone'?
★Sure, no need to be concerned when you're up here in your fancy chair, sipping wine and bathing in exotic bathwater!
★Your Majesty, despite our alliance with the Guild Consortium, they've been hiring mercenaries to attack our trade caravans! Will you please spare some of your guards to keep us safe?
★Thank you, Majesty! My caravan crew will feel much safer with some extra muscle around.
★I've been curious about this new fad of wearing eyepatches, but which eye does Your Majesty favor?
★ Uh& left?
★ Whichever you think best.
★The choice is clear.
★Does it Matter?
★ Oh, thank you, Your Majesty! Now all of my fears and questions have been erased!
★ & what kind of answer is that? How will I ever know if I'm wearing my patch on the correct eye?
★My liege, I ask you to fund a voyage into the unknown. I shall sail in your name and discover the secrets of the world around us. Knowledge! Treasure! Glory! These things can be yours!!
★Yes! I like all of those things! Go in my name and discover many wonders!
★My highest level of concern begins with me. Everything else in the world exists in concentric rings of lessening importance as they get further away from me. Once you go outside the area I have direct rule over, interest drops off sharply. I'm going to say no.
★Absolutely!
★Absolutely not!
★"I shall lead a voyage of WONDERS!!"
★"But... I was so sure you would say yes."
★Grant an Ewe
★No Ewe for You!
★I cannot let my poor subject's flock die out.
★The monarch is not to be bothered with the affairs of livestock.
★"Thank you! I am so grateful!"
★"My flock is doomed!"
★I would like to have a female sheep from the royal flock. All my ewes died. May I please have one?
★Your Highness, your advisors are predicting a sharp rise in the desire for goat's milk. Might now be a prudent time to increase the Goat Tax?
★Bless those little goats and their little golden udders! I love this idea. The tax shall be raised.
★I will not take advantage of the people's need for basic staples. The current tax is sufficient.
★Tax those goats!
★Read my lips...
★"I will see to it at once, Your Highness. Let us celebrate with a bottle of tax-free chicken's milk!"
★"Of course. I guess we have been known to butt heads over this before -- I do not wish to milk the issue."
★Great One, I dug up this lockbox of gold on my farm. The constable demands I give it to the kingdom. Must I? My farm is failing and I could use this money to plant more crops!
★That soil, and anything found in it, is yours. It doesn't matter if it is planted or dug up. You may use the gold for your farm.
★How big of a lockbox? Eh, doesn't matter, just let me have all of the gold. Your kingdom thanks you.
★The gold is yours!
★Hey, free money!
★"Thank you, Your Highness! Come harvest time, I shall bring the castle a bushel of my finest crop."
★"Well, I guess there was no harm in asking. Of course, if I hadn't asked I could have saved my farm..."
★Mighty One, I have a problem. I am possessed by demons. That's not the problem, though. The problem is that I'm beginning to enjoy it. What should I do?
★If you're enjoying it, that's the first sign that something is wrong. Get to a church immediately and tell them the Monarch has authorized their strongest exorcism.
★There is only one place to go when you feel that good: a tavern. Go and share your newfound zeal for merrymaking. Enjoy!
★Get to a church!
★Get to a tavern!
★"Of course, Your Highness, I should have seen it. Thank you for your guidance!"
★"Of course, Your Highness, I should have seen it. Thank you for your guidance!"
★The Kingball Watcher's Cup tournament is scheduled for next week, but the league is completely broke! How can we hold the big game, Your Highness?!
★I will sponsor the tournament myself. The championship is important for kingdom morale. Even I look forward to the big game!
★If the people want their sports, then they can afford a pittance for admission. It should cover the costs of the game and leave a little left over for the kingdom!
★Sponsor the game
★Charge admission!
★"Three cheers! Huzzah! Huzzah!! Huzzah!!!"
★"Very astute, my liege. May your penny-pinching and nickel-and-diming be remembered forever!"
★I seek guidance. A neighbor always leaves out food and attracts stray dogs. They're mean! They taunt our chicken and eat our shoes! What should we do?
★For a donation to the royal coffers, I will sentence your neighbor to death, ensuring that the dogs will move away.
★Here's a simple solution: move your house where there aren't any dogs living nearby.
★Bribe me
★Move your family
★"You& you would do that? Um& very well, thank you my liege."
★"Ah, yes. I see. I guess... I guess I'll get right on that. Thanks."
★I wish to erect a statue of Your Majesty in the outer village -- one worthy of your visage! It will remind those villagers who's the Monarch, you know? I merely ask to have the cost of materials covered.
★Hmm, a giant statue of me. That could have a lot of uses... People could tip their hats to it, fear it, that kind of thing. I'll allow it!
★I would rather be remembered by my deeds. There are better uses for the kingdom's resources than feckless expressions of vanity.
★Erect it!
★Reject it!
★"I shall not disappoint, my liege! You know, for another fifty Gold Simoles, I could probably get the eyes to shoot fire..."
★"Fine, then I shall just return to my other hobby of sculpting vulgar shrubbery."
★I seek to start a candy shop in the outer village. Would the throne be willing to finance my endeavor? I believe it will bring much needed happiness to the kingdom!
★Finance It!
★Denied!
★This seems like a great addition to the outer village. I will finance it with my own money!
★The royal treasury is not a bank. Go find a moneylender for your enterprises!
★"Your generosity is legendary. Truly you are an inspiration to us all!"
★"I had heard that the Crown was not very generous, but I never realized it was against joy as well!"
★Great One, the equipment we use to test witches is considered outdated and barbaric. I ask you to finance some upgrades so that our equipment may be new and barbaric.
★Those witches are crafty! We can't give them the opportunity to outsmart our obsolete testing methods.
★Yes, the equipment is a little antiquated, but it's never been wrong! I can't justify the cost at this time.
★Let's do it!
★Too expensive...
★"Thank you, Your Highness. This will buy us many goads and scrapers!"
★"Fine, then! But don't come crying to me when the whole kingdom is speaking Witchanese!"
★My neighbor has trimmed his shrubs into rude and vulgar shapes. I seek permission to burn them to the ground with fire.
★Fire is a good tool -- it's both powerful and completely under our control. I will allow this.
★There is no law that strictly prohibits vulgar shrubbery... not unless it portrays the Monarch in a negative light. Permission must be denied.
★Light it up!
★Fire seems bad...
★"Wonderful! I shall fetch my good torches from storage!"
★"What?! Must I describe what these shrubs are doing to one another? I cannot! DON'T MAKE ME!!"
★Your Majesty, I, your humble servant, wish to begin a family. May I have your permission to conceive a child?
★You don't need the Monarch's permission to have a child. That's just something you can do. Go have a child! Be well!
★Are you kidding? You want my permission to breed. You know what? No. Just because you asked me: no. You are banned from having children.
★What? Of course!
★Know what? No
★"Your Highness is most gracious! If I am lucky enough to have a child of your fine gender, I will surely name it after you! Twice!"
★"As you wish. I suppose I will go back to growing potatoes. Perhaps they will fill in the hole in my life..."
★I want my son to learn the trade that has been in our family for generations, but he wants to join the theater and travel the world. I don't know what to do!
★The boy must follow his own path. That's all any of us can do. If you love him, you must set him free.
★The Monarch is not here to solve your every trifling quandary. I have a kingdom to run! BEGONE!!
★Follow your heart!
★Get out of here!
★"I... I guess you are right, Your Majesty. I will support my son, no matter what he decides."
★"Yikes!!"
★Wise one, please settle a bet. Best Kingball player ever: Randalf Galamand or Shubby Botswick?
★Galamand had the strongest backhand in the game, and his midsection was forged of iron! The man could take a Kingball to the gut, I say!
★Shubby may not have been as flashy as Randalf, but his fundamentals were solid. Plus, he played over five-thousand times without missing a game! Inspirational!
★Galamand!
★Botswick!
★"HA! I just won five gold Simoles. Thanks, Your Highness."
★"Huh. I guess we'll just agree to disagree, then. Looks like I owe my friend a lunch! Good day, Your Majesty."
★My liege, I have little money and no possessions save a peasant-grade lute. I live only on donations from kind citizens and from performing for the local children. But now I must produce ｧ300 or I'll lose my home!
★Musicians are beloved in the community. It would not reflect well on the Monarchy if I allow one of their favorite performers to become a homeless beggar.
★The castle cannot simply dispense large sums of money to every sad person in the kingdom. If I give hand-outs now, where will they end?
★Take pity...
★No pity for you!
★"I... I am overcome by your generosity, Your Majesty. I shall write a ballad in your honor and perform it for all who will hear!"
★"No! What will I do? I have nowhere to go! I -- I have... no one."
★Your Majesty, I know I'm of humble birth, but I've always dreamed of joining the nobility. Could you grant me a noble title? You wouldn't even have to give me any land!
★ Sure, I dub thee& Archmarquis of Crafthole.
★ If I give you a title, then everyone will be wanting one too! Request denied, peasant.
★Why Not?
★Never!
★...Really? Thank you, Your Majesty! I can't wait to tell my friends all about this. And order them around!
★Oh well, it was worth a shot. Back to the ol' trade.
★I'm ruined!! A freak frost suddenly descended on my farm and destroyed all of my tomatoes! Why does this keep happening to me?
★I would hate to go without your world-famous tomatoes. Perhaps a little gold will help you recover from your losses.
★A good farmer must prepare for lean years. Natural disasters, even bizarrely localized ones such as yours, are bound to happen. Next year your crop will be stronger.
★Help out
★It's lesson time!
★"Thank you, Your Highness! This should replace my crops with just enough left over to buy a lucky horseshoe! You know, just in case..."
★"Even you won't help me! I'M RUINED!!!"
★Death Flower
★Money Tree Seed
★Omni Plant Seed
★Fresh apples are quite tasty! They go great in cobblers, plus the trees provide a bit of shade.
★Apple Seed
★Apple Tree
★Bell Peppers long ago earned a reputation as an aggressor plant, though they maintain they've held to their policy of strict neutrality.
★Bell Pepper Plant
★Bell Pepper Seed
★Burger Patty Plant
★True masters of Gardening will eventually learn the secret to growing Burger Patty Plants. While caring for these is a difficult task, the benefit of having higher quality Burger Patties cannot be denied.
★Cheese Plant
★The ability to grow Cheese is known only to a few veterans of Gardening. While quick to grow, they are hard to maintain, but provide a higher quality cheese than most stores provide.
★The Death Flower is rumored to be a precious botanical prize to the dead. Odd for those without corporeal form to desire a tangible, living thing.
★Death Flower Bush
★Death Seed
★Eggplant
★Mythology often states the eggplant was used to revive and replenish winged heroes. Reality describes it as a funny-looking purple or white plant.
★Eggplant Seed
★Flame Fruit Bush
★Flame Fruit is delicious when consumed and delightfully alight when set down. Few have questioned the logic of consuming a combustable fruit.
★Flame Fruit Seed
★Garlic is good for the soul, aids hopeful lotharios with its breath-enhancing scents, and is generally known as an awesome additive to any dish.
★Garlic Plant
★Garlic Seed
★Grapes are a tasty fruit that will always send hunger pangs kicking and screaming like the whiney gastronomic urgings they are.
★Grape Seed
★Grapevine
★Lettuce is an excellent vegetable for those who prefer crispness over flavor.
★Lettuce Plant
★Lettuce Seed
★Life Plant
★The Life Plant is a life sustaining fruit so delicious, so pure, you might just stick around long enough to eat another.
★Life Plant Seed
★Limes are perfectly complemented by a squished up, "whoa that's sour" face.
★Lime Seed
★Lime Tree
★Money Tree
★Thanks to the inflation driven capitalists at Landgraab Industries, money DOES grow on trees.
★Money Tree Seed
★Omni Plant
★The Omni Plant is a marvel of modern science. It will produce whatever it is fed, leading to startling and often gruesome produce.
★Omni Plant Seed
★As vegetables go, the Onion tends to be snarky, yet humorous. It's always layers of fun.
★Onion Plant
★Onion Seed
★Potatoes are pretty even keeled. Just don't spell potato with an "e." That just makes them mad.
★Potato Vine
★Steak Plant
★To grow Steak from the ground is a monumental task reserved to the secret masters of Gardening. You aren't eating real Steak unless you've used a homegrown Steak to start with.
★Tomatoes are tasty fruits that long for the days of vegetable-hood.
★Tomato Plant
★Tomato Seed
★Watermelons would like the record to show that it isn't their fault if Sims choose to spit the seeds at others. They shouldn't be held liable!
★Watermelon Seed
★Watermelon Vine
★Minor fear increase.
★Dramatic fear increase.
★Moderate fear increase.
★Moderate fear decrease.
★Dramatic fear decrease.
★Minor fear decrease.
★Fear of the Jacoban Order has increased slightly.
★Fear of the Jacoban Order has increased dramatically.
★Fear of the Jacoban Order has increased moderately.
★Fear of the Jacoban Order has decreased moderately.
★Fear of the Jacoban Order has decreased dramatically.
★Fear of the Jacoban Order has decreased slightly.
★The flock is sufficiently fearful of the Order to ensure maximum obedience.
★ " The Jacobans have found that sweet spot in the fear spectrum: somewhere between slight dread and abject terror. Attendance is soaring!
★ " We've got the people right where we want them: afraid, but not exceedingly so. Church attendance is booming!
★ " Fear has now been comfortably established in the Kingdom, and Church attendance is rising. Well done!
★People are now horrified; many of the flock are staying home!
★ " People are now horrified; many of the flock have started staying home.
★ " Jacobans and non-Jacobans alike are trembling under their beds. Peteran membership is on the rise.
★ " Fear runs rampant throughout the Kingdom! People are afraid to even look in the mirror, and Jacoban attendance is falling.
★People are feeling anxious and tense due to rising fear levels. Church attendance is falling.
★ " People are becoming increasingly alarmed about the state of things, and are opting to skip Church services in order to spend more time worrying.
★ " People are perhaps a little too fearful of the Jacobans now, and it's somewhat difficult to recruit new members.
★ " Fear of the Jacoban Order is rising a bit too fast, and people are wary of attending services.
★The Jacoban Order is considered a joke by most people, who think the priests would better serve as jesters.
★ " The people are unfearful of the Church and have been slacking in attendance.
★ " Very few people take the Jacoban Order seriously.
★ " The people are unafraid and would rather sleep in than attend Church services.
★The flock is unfearful of the Church and attendance has been slacking.
★ " Jacobans are unfearful of the Church and have been slacking in attendance.
★ " The people remain unafraid of the Jacoban Order.
★ " People aren't quite warming up to the whole 'fear' thing. Church attendance could be better.
★By order of the Jacoban Proxy, all puppies have been outlawed. Please place your puppies in the puppy repository at your local Jacoban Cathedral. Jacob guide you.
★Curious about the Watcher? Don't just "dip a toe in", go full-on Jacoban! -- A message from the Church of Jacob.
★Eggs are repulsive. Have you ever stopped to think about where eggs come from? I mean, really thought about it? Any Jacoban seen handling, ingesting, or festively decorating eggs will fall completely from the Watcher's favor.
★After rigorous study, it has been discovered that bears especially enjoy the taste of Jacoban worshippers. Be careful when visiting the forest. Jacob guide you.
★Persons who do not donate to their local Jacoban church are five times as likely to be buried alive someday as those who do. --This fun fact has been brought to you by your local Jacoban church.
★By order of the Jacoban Proxy, carrots, the most evil of all vegetables, shall no longer by eaten by good citizens.
★When life slaps you with a challenge fish, just remember to "spirit." -- A message from your Jacoban church.
★Contrary to recent rumor, children are welcome at our sermons. However, they should be neither seen nor heard. The Watcher despises children.
★All worshippers are responsible for cleaning their seat after a sermon. Dirty pews are an affront to the Watcher and will not be tolerated.
★Come join us at our first-ever Jacoban cooking class, where you'll learn to brew our famous Watcher's Gruel and the difference between a spoon and a smiting!
★Laughter is decadent!! The Grand Convincer of the Jacoban Church has given today over to solemn reflection on the Watcher for all followers.
★Any Jacoban follower who fails to recognize the Proxy's birthday will be destroyed by bees. I could tell you when the birthday is, but that would be cheating. Jacob guide you.
★Just because you perform your disgusting acts amongst the lordleaf behind the church doesn't mean the Watcher doesn't see it, Amanda.
★This is an official reminder from the Jacoban church:Tearing down a Jacoban proclamation is punishable by the posting of a more strongly-worded proclamation.
★The Jacoban Proxy has declared that everyone is beautiful, in their own way. Have a nice day.
★It has come to the church's attention that certain citizens feel they can escape the Watcher's Gaze by wearing large, false moustaches during illicit activities. The Watcher sees EVERYTHING, including shenanigans. Remember that.
★The Jacoban Proxy predicts a torrential rain of hellfire over the next few days, as the Watcher has set about to smite all those who offend Him. Please take this into account when planning your excursions.
★Any and all lapsed Jacobans are hereby forgiven for their transgressions and are welcome to attend the next sermon with no punishment of any kind. That means you, Bernard.
★We must offer ourselves wholly to the Watcher's gaze. Wearing a hat sinfully covers your face and interrupts His righteous view of you. Hats are banned until further notice.
★The Grand Convincer of the Jacoban Church has determined that hats are delightful. The next service at your Jacoban church will officially be Hat Day. Wear hats! ...Or else.
★Due to the recent spate of bear attacks on our congregation, we will be opening up a Jacoban healing center in town in the near future. Please visit us for any of your spiritual healing needs.
★Speaking with and otherwise interacting with non-Jacoban worshippers is now strictly forbidden. Any Jacoban found in violation of this proclamation will be considered a heretic and punished accordingly.
★The Watcher sees every disgusting and wrong thing you do, and he tells the Proxy about it and then the Proxy tells me. Keep it in mind. Jacob guide you.
★HOw areyou
★Do not spit in the holy water. We saw what you did, Josef.
★Today's sermon will be attended by renowned Kingball Champion Richard of Yarmouth. Arrive early for your souvenir Mini-Kingball-Paddle and remember: playing Kingball is not a sin. Playing it badly is.
★You don't have to be a "sir" or "man" to show up to my "sermon." Ladies Welcome! -- A message from your Jacoban church.
★By order of the Jacoban church, the hems of all dresses are to be worn no higher than ten inches below the ankle. Lengthening fabric will be available at your church in a variety of colors for the next few days.
★Lordleaf has been declared by the Jacoban Proxy to be the favoured plant of the Watcher and your local Jacoban church will be distributing lordleaf clippings in the near future.
★Please be aware that a grizzly old man has been trying to sell citizens "lucky" horseshoes. These talismans are an affront to the Watcher and are also grossly overpriced. Any Jacoban caught in possession of one will not be allowed in the church!
★The Jacoban Proxy wishes to remind you that medical science has been completely unable to prove there isn't a connection between skipping church and chlamydia.
★By order of the Jacoban Proxy, the overflow of donations to the Jacoban Church this past year will be returned to its most faithful followers. Visit your local Priest at your convenience to retrieve your share.
★Names are self-indulgent and wicked. By decree of the Jacoban Proxy, all of the Watcher's children will now only be referred to as "Lo." All babies born from now on will be named "Lo." -- A message from Shepherd Lo
★The Jacoban Church is taking applications for new attendants. Those interested should leave a resume, references, and charitable donation with the priest or priestess on duty.
★A new tax will be imposed on all Jacoban followers to help pay for planned church upgrades.
★The Watcher doesn't favor one man above another just because he has a noble title. The Watcher favors him because of birth, blood, breeding, education, manners, dress, and social standing.
★By order of the Jacoban Proxy, gruel may no longer be consumed in any official Jacoban building, except by Priests and others who have been touched by the Watcher.
★Remember: There is no "I" in "Eye of the Watcher" but we can always fit "U" in there! -- A message from your Jacoban church.
★By order of the Throne, this Kingdom shall no longer turn a blind eye to the reprehensible actions of Tredony and Aarbyville. The violence and atrocities of this war have gone unchecked far too long, and we shall take the lead in ending this conflict once and for all.As such, a War Court will be held in the Town Square where the foreign leaders will answer for their crimes and be made to see reason... or else...
★In order to prevent confusion, by order of the Jacoban Church, all parrots must be named from the following list: Polly, Pascal, Porgie, or Pollyanna. Failure to comply will result in confiscation of the offending bird.
★In the spirit of brotherhood, the Jacoban Proxy is encouraging all Jacoban followers to make friends with a Peteran today.
★Pirate ships began crashing into each other almost immediately. Their navigators were so inept they kept ramming the wrong ships. The Guild just waited for the pirates to destroy themselves. When only one pirate ship remained, the Guild's entire fleet sailed up and crushed it.
★Pirate ships immediately began taking on huge amounts of water in this exciting naval battle. They are just so dumb they forgot to waterproof their ships before dropping them in the water.
★Looking to trade an Ornate, Feathered Quill. Great condition, exotic plumage. Seeking unique items of comparable value. All offers considered at the Marketplace.
★If you are reading this, then that means you care. Congratulations! If only all citizens were as conscientious as you, the world would be a better place.
★Come wash away your dirty sins with us! I promise no one will say "pew." -- A message from your Jacoban church.
★The Jacoban Proxy has decreed that church attendance is now mandatory. Missing a sermon may result in sickness or death.
★He who smelt it did not necessarily deal it.
★The rumors that the Jacoban Proxy has outlawed smiling are false. Smiling is discouraged but not forbidden.
★After tomorrow's afternoon sermon, the church will begin collecting coats to distribute to less fortunate--OH MY GOSH THERE'S A SPIDER RIGHT BEHIND YOU!!!
★To ensure complete spiritual fulfillment, the Jacoban Proxy strongly recommends that all Jacobans reflect on the Watcher for at least two hours, no less than fifteen times a day.
★If you enjoyed the last sermon, please leave feedback in the suggestion box. If you did not enjoy the sermon, please keep it to yourself. The Watcher knows all.
★We are looking for volunteers for our next round of Jacob's Sword Sharpness Testing. Please consider volunteering if you have at least one sturdy limb.
★Until further notice, all Peterans who step onto Jacoban property are required to wear a badge declaring them to be temporary Jacobans. Once they step off of Jacoban land, they may resume their previous faith.
★The Jacoban Church reminds you to help prevent Truth Decay...open yourself to the Watcher every day.
★Welcome to TownName. For your own safety please observe all kingdom laws and have a nice day:Murder, Theft, Fighting, Spitting and Public Disorder all prohibited and punishable by fine, incarceration, death by pit beast or tickling. In addition:No shoes, no jerkin, no serviceNo running!No diving from the Cliffs...
★The Watcher sees all transactions, everywhere. Therefore, the Jacoban Church is ordering a voluntary tax on all trades that occur outside of TownName, or in TownName.
★The Jacoban Proxy would like to remind all loyal Jacobans that the Watcher is always watching you. Especially you, Bernard.
★The Watcher loves all Guild Consortium members and banishes those who would wish harm upon them to the unmentionable realm in the afterlife for all of eternity! Consider this fair warning to all.
★The Watcher loves all Pirates and banishes those who would wish harm upon them to the unmentionable realm in the afterlife for all of eternity! Consider this fair warning to all.
★By order of the Grand Convincer, all puppies have been outlawed. Please place your puppies in the puppy repository at your local Jacoban Cathedral. Jacob guide you.
★The grand convincer has declared that everyone is beautiful, in their own way. Have a nice day.
★Bard
★Lil' Troubadour SimFirstName0
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment.Level 10 benefits:" Can write Legendary Plays" New songs unlocked
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment. Level 1 benefits:" Perform songs on the Lute to raise the spirits of nearby Sims, and raise a little bit of cash on the side." Compose Poems and Plays at your Archives, and then perform them on the Stage!
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment.Level 2 benefits:" You can perform songs on the Lute to raise the spirits of nearby Sims, and raise a little bit of cash on the side" You can compose Poems and Plays at your Archives, and then perform them on the Stage" New songs unlocked
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment.Level 3 benefits:" New songs unlocked
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment.Level 4 benefits:" New songs unlocked
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment.Level 5 benefits:" Can create Tragic Plays and Epic Poems" New songs unlocked
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment.Level 6 benefits:" New songs unlocked
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment.Level 7 benefits:" New songs unlocked
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment.Level 8 benefits:" New songs unlocked
★Bards devote their lives to the arts and although the pay may be poor, it's rich in personal fulfillment.Level 9 benefits:" New songs unlocked
★BardLevelExtraDescription
★Troubadour SimFirstName0
★Minstrel SimFirstName0
★Rhapsodist SimFirstName0
★Blacksmith
★Lil' Smith SimFirstName0
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 10 benefits:" New weapons and armor unlocked at the Forge" Metalworking requires almost no time and has a great chance of success
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 1 benefits:" Can create basic weapons, armor, and items at the Forge" Can mine Ore from exposed rock" Goods can be sold at the Smithy's Market Stall
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 2 benefits:" New weapons, armor, and Kingball paddles unlocked at the Forge" Metalworking requires slightly less time and has a slightly higher chance of success" Can mine Ore from exposed rock" Goods can be sold at the Smithy's Market Stall
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 3 benefits:" New armor, hammers, and staves unlocked at the Forge" Metalworking requires a little less time and has a little higher chance of success
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 4 benefits:" New weapons unlocked at the Forge" Metalworking requires less time and has a higher chance of success
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 5 benefits:" New weapons, armor, hammers, and Kingball paddles unlocked at the Forge" Metalworking requires noticeably less time and has a noticeably higher chance of success
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 6 benefits:" New weapons, armor, and staves unlocked at the Forge" Metalworking requires a lot less time and has a lot higher chance of success
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 7 benefits:" New armor unlocked at the Forge" Metalworking requires much less time and has a much higher chance of success
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 8 benefits:" New weapons, armor, hammers, and staves unlocked at the Forge" Metalworking requires much less time and has a much higher chance of success
★Blacksmiths are responsible for creating weapons and armor for the kingdom, but are also known to create unusual and one-of-a-kind objects as well.Level 9 benefits:" New weapons and armor unlocked at the Forge" Metalworking requires almost no time and has a great chance of success
★BlacksmithLevelExtraDescription
★Journeyman Smith SimFirstName0
★Blacksmith SimFirstName0
★Forgemistress SimFirstName0
★" Further leveling will increase money/day and improve profession interaction success
★Jacoban Priest
★Lil' Inquisitor SimFirstName0
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 10 benefits:" Almost certain chance of successful Sermons, Absolutions, and Conversions
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 1 benefits:" Can Sermonize at the Pulpit" Can Absolve Sims of sin" Can Convert Sims to the Jacoban Faith
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 2 benefits:" Slightly better chance of a successful Sermon at the Pulpit" Slightly better chance of successfully Absolving Sims of sin" Slightly better chance of successfully Converting Sims to the Jacoban Faith
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 3 benefits:" Somewhat better chance of successful Sermons, Absolutions, and Conversions
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 4 benefits:" Better chance of successful Sermons, Absolutions, and Conversions
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 5 benefits:" Fairly decent chance of successful Sermons, Absolutions, and Conversions
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 6 benefits:" Good chance of successful Sermons, Absolutions, and Conversions
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 7 benefits:" Very Good chance of successful Sermons, Absolutions, and Conversions
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 8 benefits:" High chance of successful Sermons, Absolutions, and Conversions
★Jacoban Priests tend to possess great material wealth and conduct their business of religion vigorously. Sims must lead their lives according to a strict moral code lest punishment be delivered!Level 9 benefits:" Very High chance of successful Sermons, Absolutions, and Conversions
★JacobanPriestLevelExtraDescription
★Shepherdess SimFirstName0
★High Shepherdess SimFirstName0
★SimFirstName0, Eye of Jacob
★Knight
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 10 benefits:" Fighting proficiency greatly increased
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 1 benefits:" Can combat other Sims" Can strategize at the Tactical Map
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 2 benefits:" Restful Dance combat tone unlocked" Fighting proficiency slightly increased" Can strategize at the Tactical Map
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 3 benefits:" Whirling Takedown special combat move unlocked" Fighting proficiency slightly increased
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 4 benefits:" Steeled Defense combat tone unlocked" Fighting proficiency increased
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 5 benefits:" "Mortal Blow" special combat move unlocked" "Furious Onslaught" combat tone unlocked" Fighting proficiency increased
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 6 benefits:" Fighting proficiency increased
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 7 benefits:" "True Striking" combat tone unlocked" Fighting proficiency moderately increased
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 8 benefits:" Fighting proficiency moderately increased
★Knights are war machines incarnate, proficient in all forms of deadly combat, yet tempered by a strict code of honor and conduct. They are responsible for the security of the kingdom and the training of its soldiers.Level 9 benefits:" Fighting proficiency greatly increased
★KnightCaptainLevelExtraDescription
★Lil' Swordlady SimFirstName0
★Dame SimFirstName0
★Knight-Captain SimFirstName0
★Commander SimFirstName0
★Merchant
★Lil' Trader SimFirstName0
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 10 benefits:" The greatest profit margin when buying & selling goods" Almost guaranteed chance to convince Sims to purchase goods
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 1 benefits:" Can buy & sell goods from the Market Stall" Can convince Sims to purchase goods" Can use the Ship to trade with other territories
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 2 benefits:" Slightly increased profit margin when buying & selling goods" Slightly increased chance to convince Sims to purchase goods" Can use the Ship to trade with other territories
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 3 benefits:" Increased profit margin when buying & selling goods" Increased chance to convince Sims to purchase goods
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 4 benefits:" Increased profit margin when buying & selling goods" Increased chance to convince Sims to purchase goods
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 5 benefits:" Healthy profit margin when buying & selling goods" Fair chance to convince Sims to purchase goods
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 6 benefits:" Moderately high profit margin when buying & selling goods" Fair chance to convince Sims to purchase goods
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 7 benefits:" High profit margin when buying & selling goods" Good chance to convince Sims to purchase goods
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 8 benefits:" Very high profit margin when buying & selling goods" Very good chance to convince Sims to purchase goods
★Merchants facilitate trade with foreign lands as well as within the kingdom, and bring rare and unusual goods to the local populace at competitive prices.Level 9 benefits:" Huge profit margin when buying & selling goods" Great chance to convince Sims to purchase goods
★MerchantLevelExtraDescription
★Shopkeeper SimFirstName0
★Trader SimFirstName0
★Master Merchant SimFirstName0
★Monarch
★Princess SimFirstName0
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 10 benefits:" Ability to set taxes on the Kingdom unlocked" Fighting proficiency greatly increased
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 1 benefits:" Can strategize and pass Edicts at the Tactical Map" Can Hold Court on the Throne" Can combat with other Sims
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 2 benefits:" Can strategize and pass Edicts at the Tactical Map" Can Hold Court on the Throne" Restful Dance combat tone unlocked" Fighting proficiency slightly increased
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 3 benefits:" Whirling Takedown special combat move unlocked" Fighting proficiency slightly increased
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 4 benefits:" Steeled Defense combat tone unlocked" Fighting proficiency increased
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 5 benefits:" Mortal Blow special combat move unlocked" Furious Onslaught combat tone unlocked" Fighting proficiency increased
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 6 benefits:" Fighting proficiency increased
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 7 benefits:" True Striking combat tone unlocked" Fighting proficiency moderately increased
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 8 benefits:" Fighting proficiency moderately increased
★A Monarch is the sole ruler of the land. Great responsibility falls on this Sim, as his or her leadership and decisions affect everyone in the Kingdom.Level 9 benefits:" Fighting proficiency greatly increased
★MonarchLevelExtraDescription
★Royal Consort SimFirstName0
★Queen SimFirstName0
★Empress SimFirstName0
★Lady SimFirstName0
★Queen SimFirstName0 the Great
★Empress SimFirstName0 the Great
★Lady SimFirstName0 the Great
★Queen SimFirstName0 the Illustrious
★Empress SimFirstName0 the Illustrious
★Lady SimFirstName0 the Illustrious
★Peteran Priest
★Lil' Prioress SimFirstName0
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 10 benefits:" Almost certain chance of successful Sermons, Evangelizing, and Conversions
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 1 benefits:" Can Sermonize at the Pulpit" Can Evangelize at the Platform" Can Convert other Sims to the Peteran Faith" Can Study and Write with The Watcher at the Archives
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 2 benefits:" Slightly better chance of a successful Sermon at the Pulpit" Slightly better chance of successfully Evangelizing at the Platform" Slightly better chance of successfully Converting other Sims to the Peteran Faith" Can Study and Write with The Watcher at the Archives
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 3 benefits:" Somewhat better chance of successful Sermons, Evangelizing, and Conversions
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 4 benefits:" Better chance of successful Sermons, Evangelizing, and Conversions
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 5 benefits:" Fairly decent chance of successful Sermons, Evangelizing, and Conversions
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 6 benefits:" Good chance of successful Sermons, Evangelizing, and Conversions
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 7 benefits:" Very Good chance of successful Sermons, Evangelizing, and Conversions
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 8 benefits:" High chance of successful Sermons, Evangelizing, and Conversions
★Peteran Priests are ascetics devoted to their faith. They preach compassion and understanding, and try to encourage others to live their lives according to The Watcher's principles.Level 9 benefits:" Very High chance of successful Sermons, Evangelizing, and Conversions
★PeteranPriestLevelExtraDescription
★Sister SimFirstName0
★Prioress SimFirstName0
★Abbess SimFirstName0
★Physician
★Lil' Bloodletter SimFirstName0
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 10 benefits:" Always performs the most effective treatments" New recipes available on Crafting Table
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 1 benefits:" Can gather various herbs" Can diagnose Sims, treat their wounds, and cure sickness " Can craft salves, tonics, and other potions at the Crafting Table
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 2 benefits:" Can gather various herbs" Can diagnose Sims, treat their wounds, and cure sickness" Can craft salves, tonics, and other potions at the Crafting Table" Slightly higher chance for more effective treatments
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 3 benefits:" Moderately higher chance for more effective treatments
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 4 benefits:" Higher chance for more effective treatments
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 5 benefits:" More options available on operating table" Higher chance for more effective treatments" New recipes available on Crafting Table
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 6 benefits:" Much higher chance for more effective treatments
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 7 benefits:" Much higher chance for more effective treatments
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 8 benefits:" Very high chance for more effective treatments
★Physicians are the first, last, and only line of defense against disease and infection. Dedicated to the pursuit of science and the advancement of medicine, the health of the kingdom is in their hands.Level 9 benefits:" Very high chance for more effective treatments
★PhysicianLevelExtraDescription
★Bloodletter SimFirstName0
★Surgeon SimFirstName0
★Master Chirugeon SimFirstName0
★Spy
★Lil' Spymistress SimFirstName0
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 10 benefits:" Great chance to Pickpocket and Steal funds from messenger posts" Great proficiency at Poison Making" Fighting proficiency greatly increased
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 1 benefits:" Can Pickpocket other Sims" Can craft Poisons at the Crafting Table" Can gather various herbs" Can combat other Sims" Can view politics at the Tactical Map
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 2 benefits:" Slightly higher chance to Pickpocket other Sims" Slightly more proficient at Poison Making at the Crafting Table" Can gather various herbs" Fighting proficiency moderately increased" Can view politics at the Tactical Map" Takes slightly reduced damage when fighting without armor" Restful Dance combat tone unlocked
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 3 benefits:" Higher chance to Pickpocket" More proficient at Poison Making" Fighting proficiency moderately increased" Takes slightly reduced damage when fighting without armor" Whirling Takedown" combat move unlocked
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 4 benefits:" Higher chance to Pickpocket" More proficient at Poison Making" Fighting proficiency moderately increased" Takes slightly reduced damage when fighting without armor" Steeled Defense combat tone unlocked
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 5 benefits:" Higher chance to Pickpocket" Ability to Steal funds from messenger posts" More proficient at Poison Making" Fighting proficiency moderately increased" Takes slightly reduced damage when fighting without armor" Mortal Blow special combat move unlocked" Furious Onslaught" combat tone unlocked
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 6 benefits:" Higher chance to Pickpocket" Slightly higher chance to Steal funds from messenger posts" More proficient at Poison Making" Fighting proficiency moderately increased" Takes slightly reduced damage when fighting without armor
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 7 benefits:" Higher chance to Pickpocket and Steal funds from messenger posts" Higher proficiency at Poison Making" Fighting proficiency highly increased" Takes reduced damage when fighting without armor" True Striking" combat tone unlocked
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 8 benefits:" Higher chance to Pickpocket and Steal funds from messenger posts" Higher proficiency at Poison Making" Fighting proficiency highly increased" Takes reduced damage when fighting without armor
★Spies maintain clandestine communications networks, help discover (or hide) the truth as the situation calls for it, and generally perform the dirty work involved in politics. It's all for the good of the Kingdom, though, and what the people don't know...well, the people don't know.Level 9 benefits:" Great chance to Pickpocket and Steal funds from messenger posts" Great proficiency at Poison Making" Fighting proficiency greatly increased" Takes little damage when fighting without armor
★SpyLevelExtraDescription
★Under-Spy SimFirstName0
★Spy SimFirstName0
★Spy Master SimFirstName0
★Wizard
★Lil' Sorceress SimFirstName0
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts.Level 10 benefits:" New Spells available: Teleport, Sleep & Inferno" New Recipes available on Crafting Table
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts." Spells available: Growth, Spirit Thief, Magic Arrow & Curse" Recipes available on Crafting Table" Ability to gather various herbs
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts.Level 2 benefits:" Spells available: Growth, Spirit Thief, Magic Arrow & Curse" Recipes available on Crafting Table" Ability to gather various herbs
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts.Level 3 benefits:" Spells available: Growth, Spirit Thief, Magic Arrow & Curse
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts.Level 4 benefits:" Spells available: Growth, Spirit Thief, Magic Arrow & Curse
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts.Level 5 benefits:" New Spells available: Mend, Ghostly Music, Telepathy, Terror & Miasma" New Recipes available on Crafting Table" New Staves available on Forge
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts.Level 6 benefits:" Spells available: Mend, Ghostly Music, Telepathy, Terror & Miasma" New Staves available on Forge
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts.Level 7 benefits:" Spells available: Mend, Ghostly Music, Telepathy, Terror & Miasma
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts.Level 8 benefits:" Spells available: Mend, Ghostly Music, Telepathy, Terror & Miasma" New Staves available on Forge
★A Wizard's power is granted by special skills they are born with, but the level to which that power grows is determined by their willpower to study the arcane arts.Level 9 benefits:" Spells available: Mend, Ghostly Music, Telepathy, Terror & Miasma" New Staves available on Forge
★WizardLevelExtraDescription
★Adept SimFirstName0
★Magus SimFirstName0
★Sorceress SimFirstName0
★\^
★Hopeful Orphan
★Identified Leaf
★Pirate Undergarments
★Blech. Smelly. Dirty. Gross. Pirates.
★Ship-Master's Hidden Hoard
★A freshly drawn map of TownName marking the spot where the infamous Ship-Master of Aarbyville hastily buried his personal booty before the trial.
★Grants ability to purge evil spirits from possessed people.
★Tutorial_Outro_a1
★Shady SimFirstName0
★Peasant SimFirstName0
★Dirty Bite Wound
★A disgusting, stinging little bite wound.
★ The Ambassador has taken more children from the village than can be counted. He exploits them as free servant labor. The worst thing is that the babies are never allowed to see their parents again. It is so sad.
★ The Ambassador is a beast of a man. He killed my best friend in an honorable' duel by stabbing him in the back as they were pacing apart. What a monster!
★Bear Steak
★Grilled Rabbit
★Removing the hair from the hare is especially important during preparation. Unless you like it messy.
★Grilled Rabbit - Large
★Roasted Venison
★Venison roasted on an open flame. Delicious.
★Roasted Venison - Large
★Pheasant tastes very gamey on its own, but the addition of a few spices really kicks it up!
★Sweet Bear
★Turnips. Mashed into soup. Healthy! And...er... delicious?
★Strong Drink
★That Poisoned Royale Crowne leaves a very warm feeling in the stomach. With luck, the feeling will pass with no problems. The same can't be said of the Pirate leaders who drink the stuff.
★Royale Crowne
★At a whopping 60% alcohol, this liquor is not for the faint of heart or contstitution. Get ready to apologize the next day for your behavior.
★Commoner Clothes
★Commoner Clothes is just that - common. They are generally cheap and easy to come by, but the get the job done and that's the main point, right?
★Adrenalized
★Nothing adds zest to your day like a good shot of frog adrenaline!
★Endurance
★Magical means can improve anyone's toughness!
★Energized
★A rush of energy makes every activity easier... and more fun!
★String0 excitedly snatches the cracker from SimTitle1's fingers.
★Captain Grimm's Blood Rum
★Got a little Grimm in ya? Get ready for a bloody good time with THE Pirate beverage of choice!
★Citrus Infusion
★All the scurvy-fighting power of citrus, concentrated into one tiny vial..
★Jumping Death Potion
★Side effects of this medication include euphoria, depression, nausea, and death.
★Cinnamon
★Cinnamon is an exotic spice. This is more likely bark from the cassia tree.
★Truth Serum
★This potent serum reduces the drinker's will to lie.
★Invasion Aristocrat
★Wounded Soldier
★String0 Cobbler
★String0 Pancakes
★String0 Roll Sushi
★Ambrosia
★The finest food that can be consumed by mortal Sims. Not only delicious, every bite bestows delicious wonders upon its consumer.
★Autumn Salad
★Mixed greens with a dash of red peppers, the Autumn Salad is a healthy solution to the growling stomach.
★Baked Angel Food Cake
★The most scrumptious dessert available... assuming you have the culinary capabilities.
★Waffles
★A favorite recipe of Bella Goth, complete with fresh fruit and golden brown waffles!
★Bread and Jam
★Cake
★Cake Slice
★Cereal
★Cheesesteak
★If you like steak and cheese together, but not necessarily individually, this combo is the ultimate dish!
★Chips
★Cobbler
★Grab some delicious cobbler for the perfect home-style dessert.
★Cookies
★A great recipe when you have a sweet tooth, cookies are a delicious treat almost everyone loves!
★Eggs Machiavellian
★A unique and cunning combination of eggs, watermelon and cheese, perfectly garnished for your taste buds. Fantastic for the devious, conniving eater.
★Fish and Chips
★Fish filets, battered and fried to a golden brown, so filling you'll barely have room for the chips.
★French Toast
★A tasty, sugary breakfast treat for the days when cereal doesn't cut it.
★Fruit Parfait
★Only the freshest fruits and yogurt deserve to be a part of this recipe! Delicious and refreshing, the best way to start your day.
★Goopy Carbonara
★One of the best Italian dishes the imagination has conjured. Prepare to be wonderfully amazed.
★Grilled Cheese
★The grilled cheese has been a favorite of many for generations. Enjoy this simple, yet highly satisfying recipe!
★Grilled Salmon
★One of the finest and most flavorful fish grilled until it's ready to be enjoyed.
★Hamburger
★A great way to enjoy all that beef has to offer... At least the ground up portion.
★Hot Dogs
★Enjoy these fantastic sausages between a bun and covered with the condiment of your choice.
★Juice
★Key Lime Pie
★A tart treat that's the perfect dessert challenge for the up and coming chef.
★Lobster Thermidor
★Sims have always loved Lobster Thermidor. Lobster - the king of seafood menus!
★Moon Waffles
★Muffin
★Pancakes
★Pancakes will always make you happy and start your day off right. Flapjacks never get old!
★Peanut Butter and Jelly
★PB and J doesn't need much explanation. Classic, timeless, delicious.
★Pie
★Ratatouille
★It may not be the favorite food of rodents, but it is a great flavor for Sims. Bon appetite!
★Spaghetti
★A classic Italian dish for everyone to enjoy. Noodles and tomato sauce have never been better.
★Spaghetti with Veggie Sauce
★Stu Surprise
★A surprising stew whose contents you really shouldn't know about. Just close your eyes it's tasty!
★Stuffed Turkey
★The finest turkey stuffed with everything you enjoy. It's a great big soulful meal for the soulful!
★Tri-Tip Steak
★Tri-Tip Steak
★Tri-Tip Steak is yet another great use for beef discovered by Sims who love food.
★Ale
★The cure for what ales you.
★Apple Pie
★The newest rage - placing sliced apples inside of pastry! Crazy, right?
★Apple Pie - Large
★The newest rage - placing sliced apples inside of pastry! Crazy, right?(Multiple Servings)
★Flat Bread
★So-called not because of its shape, but rather because of its unfortunate taste.
★Flat Bread - Large
★So-called not because of its shape, but rather because of its unfortunate taste.(Multiple Servings)
★Banker's Ale
★An ale recipe enjoyed by Tredonian bankers, brewed with gems to enhance the richness of the drink.
★Barley Ale
★A bit darker than its wheatey counterpart, this stout ale packs quite the proverbial wallop.
★Barley Bread
★Um, it's bread. Made out of barley. Seems simple enough. Did you really need an explanation?
★Barley Bread - Large
★Um, it's bread. Made out of barley. Seems simple enough. Did you really need an explanation?(Multiple Servings)
★Bear Soup
★This soup really bears the hallmark of a great dish!
★Bear Steak
★Bears are one of the most vicious - and tastiest - animals. Sims hunt them to prove their combat skill. And because they're hungry.
★Bear Steak - Large
★Bears are one of the most vicious - and tastiest - animals. Sims hunt them to prove their combat skill. And because they're hungry.(Multiple Servings)
★Bear Stew
★The bears aren't just mad about all the hunting - they're stewed!
★Bear Stew - Large
★The bears aren't just mad about all the hunting - they're stewed!(Multiple Servings)
★Belladonna Bread
★Keep out of reach of children, pets, and werewolves.
★Blackened Catfish
★Catfish are the cutest fish of the sea! So it's important to blacken them so that fair ladies of court don't feel guilty eating them.
★Bloody Moss Mary
★This tangy cocktail, distilled from pungent moss, is a popular breakfast beverage and will suck the sober right out of you.
★Boar Sandwich
★A slice of bread in between 2 slices of Boar! The perfect combo!
★Boar Soup
★The most boar-ing soup ever!
★Boar Stew
★Boar stew is thick, chunky, and hearty. Save the snout for me!
★Boar Stew - Large
★Boar stew is thick, chunky, and hearty. Save the snout for me!(Multiple Servings)
★Braised Boar
★The secret to good boar meat is a slow, loving braise.
★Braised Boar - Large
★The secret to good boar meat is a slow, loving braise.(Multiple Servings)
★Braised Whale
★The only hard thing about braising whale is finding a big enough pot!
★Braised Whale - Large
★The only hard thing about braising whale is finding a big enough pot!(Multiple Servings)
★Bread of Grass
★Broiled Bear
★Broiled Bear blisters badly by burning! Take care.
★Boar Pie
★Oink!
★Broiled Eel
★It's hard to imagine a slithery fish tasting good - regardless of the preparation.
★Broiled Fowl
★Poultry isn't foul; it's Fowl! Now enjoy it.
★Broiled Frog
★Frog legs are exquisite when broiled and seasoned to perfection.
★Broiled Herring
★A Red Herring! To be expected actually, after cooking this fish at such high temperatures.
★Broiled Meat
★Broiled meat. What kind of meat, you ask? That's the surprise!
★Broiled Pigeon
★When a carrier pigeon can no longer fly, they are made to sit...on a dinner plate!
★Broiled Rabbit
★Tricks may be for kids, but you are for dinner, silly rabbit!
★Broiled Salmon
★1 part fish. 1 part broil. All parts yum.
★Broiled Swordfish
★Careful you don't cut yourself during preparation.
★Broiled Tench
★Tench is quite tender, but a careful broil brings out all the flavor.
★Broiled Trout
★You put your trout in. You take your Broiled Trout out. Pretty simple!
★Broiled Turbot
★This dish is easy as pie. Except it's fish.
★Broiled Venison
★Broiled Venison! The cornerstone of any balanced meal.
★Broiled Whale
★Surprisingly, whale flesh shrinks considerably when broiled.
★Freshly squeezed! Not from concentrate!
★Captain Grimm's Blood Rum
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